


You are the sun and i am just the planets

by bensoloren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Star Wars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-04-27 21:59:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14434956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bensoloren/pseuds/bensoloren
Summary: Ben Solo is a struggling art student with aspergers syndrome trying to find his place in everything. Armitage Hux is a Law student living with an abusive father, the details of which he keeps from his boyfriend of six months.ps : the title to this fic are lyrics from the last of the real ones by fallout boy.





	1. Chapter one: wake up call

Mornings were usually the hardest part of the day for Ben. Monday mornings were near impossible. It had been this way since he was a small child, the thought of the day ahead produced anxiety within him. There were so many things that could go wrong, so many instances where Ben could make a mistake. Middle school and high school had been hell on earth for Ben, college was not fairing to be much better. He lived with his parents, mostly for convenience, a little because he wasn’t ready to live on his own. It takes his alarm going off four times, and the sound of his mother’s voice carrying up the stairs to wake Ben Solo, and even the sound he makes is a string of profanities. Wearing nothing more than one of his boyfriend’s t-shirts and a pair of black boxers, the youngest Solo makes his way to the bathroom wishing today was Saturday.

The house was full of life, by the sounds of it Luke was out of milk again and Rey was joining them for breakfast. He could hear her voice which not unlike her fathers, tended to travel through the walls and up the stairs. “Ben you need to hurry up if you want a ride!” He finds himself rolling his eyes at the sound of his Uncle’s voice, he debates ringing Hux to see if he’s left yet. It wasn’t that he didn’t get along with Luke, but Luke tended to pry where he wasn’t wanted and right now Ben just wasn’t in the mood to talk. He leans over the bannister ever so slightly. “Uh I think I’m going to catch a ride with Armitage.” It’s worth a try, however his mother decides to intervene. “No Ben, you go with Luke, that way you won’t be late again.” The sigh that leaves Ben is almost inaudible and he rakes fingers through dark shoulder length strands. He thinks about arguing but decides to leave it and continues his path to the bathroom. Besides his phone is in his room, and Hux has probably left by now.

He’d been dating Armitage Hux for six months now and it hadn’t been without it’s difficulties. They’d been friends since they were around ten years old, had lived next door to one another before Brendol, Armitage’s father had started drinking heavily and they’d been forced to move to cheaper accommodation. Armitage had a rather strained relationship with his father, one that he tried to keep from Ben however the youngest Solo was noticing the cracks there, the effect it was having on his boyfriend. He could tell when Armitage was wearing makeup to cover bruises or was withdrawing on himself as a way to cope. Ben had thought about mentioning it to his own parents, the problem was he knew his boyfriend would never forgive him if he did. He thought he had to handle this by himself besides it wasn’t like Ben wasn’t keeping things from Armitage. There were things he had shared of course, the fact he had Asperger’s syndrome, that he was on medication for anxiety and depression, but he hadn’t mentioned that he was recently seeing a therapist to try and cope better. 

He stops at the bathroom door for a moment, considering why he hasn’t shared this information. The first answer would be that he doesn’t want to worry the guy more than he already does. Armitage has a lot on his shoulders, he’s in the middle of an important assignment and his father had just come home after a stint in rehab that probably didn’t work ( it was his second time, paid for by Armitage’s Aunt ). Ben decides this is a relatively good excuse for his current deceit and chooses to enter the bathroom and attempt to continue with his day. He has a very strict schedule; the problem is he’s slept late and sticking to this schedule is going to cause some irritation from his Uncle who has a strict ‘Can’t be late’ policy. Showering doesn’t take long although Ben somewhat wishes it took longer, anything to avoid getting into a car with his laid-back Uncle who thought he was ‘hip’. Getting dressed is the difficult part, this usually depends on Ben’s mood and what feels comfortable on the day. He’s almost thankful for the arduous process and hopes his delay is enough to make Luke leave without him. Ben doesn’t mind walking.

By the time he reaches downstairs, he’s dressed in a pair of black ripped jeans, an old band t-shirt (his own this time, Armitage would never wear something like this) and his old leather jacket that had seen better days. His hope that Luke might of left already is dashed however when he see’s the old man sitting at the breakfast table, a lazy smile on his lips. “Kriffing hell.” The words are muttered but Leia hears them anyway and gives her son a sharp look. “Ben, none of that please. Let’s have a pleasant day.” She’s already shoving his headphones into his hands, and a pair of sunglasses. “Just in case, take your tablets please.” He makes another inaudible sigh and puts the headphones in his bag, placing the sunglasses over his eyes. He then wastes another ten minutes searching for his medication. Luke makes a sound of impatience but otherwise seems serene when Ben turns to him. “Alright I’m coming.” Ben mutters, shooting a look at his father Han who was pretending to innocently read the paper. The youngest Solo follows his Uncle to his beat-up vista cruiser silently wishing to be anywhere but here. This was going to be fun.


	2. Outside looking in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a somewhat irritating car journey with his Uncle Luke and Cousin Rey, Ben arrives on campus and discovers that Armitage's home situation has gotten a lot worse since his father has returned from rehab.

Ben used to enjoy catching a ride to school with Luke and Rey, but he’d been a lot younger back then and a lot less closed off. These days the journey was a lot more taxing and irritating than it used to be. He can already feel his irritation rising, knows it won’t be long before he pulls his headphones out of his bag and puts them on just to block him out. He smiles at Rey as he gets into the car, it’s not her fault he has to spend the next ten minutes trapped in this vehicle with her father. As he slides into the front passenger seat, he prays that his Uncle will keep the chat to a minimum. Ben has been more quiet than usual lately. Seeing a therapist was supposed to make things easier but if he was honest it had left him questioning everything. His mind was a mess, it was going to take time for Ben to make sense of it all and as much as he appreciated the interest his family was showing in him, he wasn’t ready to open up to them. He spends a rather large amount of time putting on his seatbelt, keeping his eyes trained on the dashboard. Luke climbs into the driver’s seat and looks like he wants to say something. Thankfully Rey starts babbling on about some film she’s seeing with her boyfriend Finn this weekend and so the attention is off Ben for the time being. He allows this time to become submerged in his own thoughts which have started to drift off towards his own boyfriend. It wasn’t as if they’d been apart for all that long, Armitage had snuck into his room that night, leaving in the early hours of the morning before Leia or Han could catch him but there had been something off about him. He’d seemed distracted, as if his mind was somewhere else and when Ben had tried to ask him about it, Armitage had simply changed the subject. Ben knew something had happened, he’d been wearing an enormous amount of concealer, easily noticeable because the guy had clearly been in a hurry to get out of the house when applying it.

Things were clearly getting worse. It eats at Ben, especially when he knows he should be asking his own parents for guidance in the situation. The problem was, this wasn’t his information to share and he couldn’t betray Armitage’s trust. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right. He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. This action however draws Luke’s attention to him which was something he had been trying to avoid. “You want to talk?” Four little words that Ben dreaded hearing from any family member these days. “No.” He shuts him down fast, perhaps it was a little rude, but Ben didn’t really care. Normally he’d spend hours agonizing over his decisions whenever he messed up communication wise, but he was too tired and too worried to really care and besides he could obsess over that later. Right now, all he wanted was to get on campus and find his boyfriend. He taps his fingers against his knee, biting down on his bottom lip. Luke tries a few more times, Ben has a feeling Leia has asked him to but the youngest solo keeps his eyes on the dashboard and his words to himself. He even fails to join in on a conversation that Rey starts. The car journey is mostly bearable and by the time they reach the school, Ben is completely focused on finding Armitage before school. He gets out of the vista cruiser and heads for campus, waving off Luke but not bothering to voice a reply. He makes sure to walk at least ten steps ahead from him, not wishing to walk in with a member of his family even if he was a teacher. Rey heads off in the opposite direction, her school a few blocks from here.

The walk through campus is somewhat quiet. Ben to avoid having to talk to people puts his headphones on, blasting music as loud as possible to block the world out. This was a useful tactic for when the world became to overwhelming. It was also great for when he didn’t want to be approached. Armitage was the only person who could remove his headphones without him freaking out. Establishing that his boyfriend isn’t outside, he heads for the building itself on a hunch that Armitage was probably already sitting in his classroom an hour ahead like he always did. Ben knew the reason for this was that he wanted to escape having to spend any extra time with his father. Despite only having five minutes before his own class started, he heads towards the Law classrooms, intent on speaking to his boyfriend. Ben can’t say being on campus is his favourite way to pass the time, and if he wasn’t so invested in art he’d probably be holed up in his bedroom where sound and light couldn’t aggravate him. Still he pushes through the halls, eyes carefully hidden by the sunglasses he refuses to take off. Ben for the most part keeps to himself, aside from Armitage and Phasma he didn’t really have friends and he liked it that way. Having friends meant going to extreme lengths to try and fit in and be anything but himself, he preferred the little group he belonged to who already knew about his issues. He removes his headphones quickly, shoving them into his bag.  


Once he reaches the classroom he can see the door is already wide open and at a quick glance he finds Armitage sitting at his desk, eyes glued to a text book that wasn’t even open. Ben knew just from that little glance that everything was not okay. Armitage looked like he hadn’t slept, and yeah sure he’d left Ben’s in the early hours of the morning, but he usually crashed as soon as he got home which lead the youngest solo to wonder what had happened instead. He grabs a chair from someone else’s desk (he’ll return it before he leaves) and drags it over to his boyfriend who doesn’t even look up. The redhead’s eyes are rimmed with red and his face is even paler than usual. A hand reaches out to rest itself upon Armitage’s and he flinches. He looks up briefly, realises it’s just Ben and immediately relaxes. “You’re going to be late.” The redhead comments, business like as usual. “It’s just a few minutes, Luke will go easy on me.” He dismisses the concern immediately. Luke would give him some leniency he was sure and besides that wasn’t his priority right now. “You didn’t blend properly.” Ben murmurs reaching out to gently brush against the smudge on Armitage’s cheek. “I didn’t have time.” His boyfriend’s voice seems to crack slightly.

“C’mon Armie, lets get out of here for a bit.” He stands up, pushing the chair back to it’s original place before holding his hand out. Armitage looks as if he’d quite like to argue but he doesn’t, instead he sighs in defeat, stands up and shoves his book into his bag. “Ten minutes.” He tells him, a stern look etched upon his face. “You’re not skipping because of my problems.” Ben privately thinks that he’d like to skip regardless of the problem but doesn’t say so. Instead he entwines his fingers with his boyfriends and leads him out of the classroom. The halls are a little thicker with students now, Ben has to weave a path through them to get to the quad. They pass Luke on the way out of the building and his Uncle raises an eyebrow. Ben gives him an apologetic look and holds his other hand up mouthing “Ten minutes I promise.” He knows he’s going to be in for it later, no doubt his Mother will bombard him with a hundred and fifty questions but that’s tonight’s problem. Once they reach a bench, Ben sits down tugging Armitage with him. He rummages in his own bag for a makeup sponge he keeps for his boyfriend just in case. They don’t speak about why, Ben doesn’t dig too deep when he sees the bruising because he knows the redhead won’t talk about it. He spends the next five minutes carefully doing his best to fix the cakey mess around Armitage’s eye.

They sit in silence, his boyfriend wincing now and again. Finally, it’s somewhat presentable, and Ben shoves the sponge back into his back. “You should have come to me.” It’s a whisper, fingertips gently touching the guy’s jaw to make him look at him. “It’s nothing.” Armitage replies with a somewhat brave face. “Armie….” Bens voice is soft, full of concern. “Ben can you just leave it, please? I can handle this.” There’s that stiff upper lip as Armitage gets to his feet. “You should go to class, I do not need your Uncle calling my father because of me.” And with that he’s walking off at a high velocity back to his Law classroom. Ben knows better than to follow him, it’s a better idea to let him cool off. Ben walks off in the opposite direction, doing his jacket up, the cool spring breeze a little too much for him. He heads for the Art section, knowing he was bound to be chewed out later for being late. Once he reaches the door he follows his usual schedule of putting his earphones around his neck for when he was working, he pulls his sunglasses off but puts them in his jacket pocket just in case and heads for his work area which is at the back of the classroom in the corner. He’d specifically chosen it for that reason. It was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey darlings! this chapter is a little longer than the last one. This is currently the only fic i'm working on so updates may vary in time, some may be fast, others may be a little longer depending on if i take up any other projects!. As always, feedback is always welcome and i hope you enjoy this <3.


	3. Don't shut me out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben manages to convince Armitage to come home with him and stay for dinner. He isn't however anticipating what awaits for him at home, nor is he pleased with his parents plans. Ben pushes the subject of Armitage's father for the second time that day, hoping to get better results.

As predicted the day was more arduous than he had hoped. By the end of it Ben was ready to just go home, however this time he really was able to catch a lift with Armitage. He hadn’t brought up the bruising since this morning and the redhead and mostly cooled off, even agreeing to come home with him tonight. Ben had an ulterior motive of course, he wanted to give his boyfriend time away from his father and make sure that he had a decent meal tonight. Leia wouldn’t mind the unexpected extra person for dinner, Han would sigh and make some comment about this or that, but he’d give in. It was better than the alternative. 

The drive is mostly silent but it’s comfortable and Ben gets lost in the music blaring in his headphones. Once they arrive however, they remain seated for a moment or two. Armitage parks the car, undoes his seatbelt but doesn’t move to get out. Instead he leans across to Ben, fingers reaching up to turn his head, so he can gently kiss him. He then pulls back, gently removing the headphones from Ben’s head. “I’m sorry.” Armitage doesn’t elaborate but the youngest Solo knows exactly what he’s talking about. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t of pushed.” Any hard feelings he might have had about that morning were long gone. They sit in the car for several minutes, fingers entwined and Armitage whispering sweet words in Ben’s ear. It makes him wish he could sneak his boyfriend up stairs without having to go through the process of awkward conversation with his parents. 

Ben and Armitage had been together for six months but they’d been friends longer. That showed just how patient they were with one another even when the other was being ridiculously stubborn. Ben had come to trust his boyfriend in a way he couldn’t with any other person and he liked to think it was the same for Armitage. Reluctantly he pulls away to give them both motivation to leave the car. As he climbs out, his over the head headphones hang loosely around his neck like usual. He looks up the driveway at the house and holds his breath for a moment or two. Ben really wasn’t in the mood for the third degree, but he knows his mother and father. 

Once Armitage reaches his side he entwines their fingers together again, a small smile on his face as he does so. He leads him up the pathway, but once he reaches the door he’s surprised to see his father standing in the hallway with the door wide open. Chewbacca, their chocolate Labrador comes bounding out and manages to stop in his tracks before he sends Ben flying. Reaching down, he strokes Chewie behind the ears before attempting to continue his journey up the neat and tidy pathway. His mothers spring flowers were in bloom he notices, which has no doubt put her in a good mood. Han looks suspiciously pleased and a little smug, Ben wants to ask why but decides not to. Han stands aside so the pair can move past him into the large open plan kitchen, but he does reach over to ruffle Ben’s hair which makes his son cringe just a little. “Daaaaad.” A whine sounds from his lips, slightly annoyed but amused at the same time. 

Armitage has been here before, most recently when he was when he was sneaking out of Ben’s room, but he had spent quite a lot of time over here when he was a child, something that had changed when he had moved away. Now that he was dating Ben however the atmosphere had changed a little. Han had never gotten on with Brendol, Armitage’s father and that had perhaps coloured his view of Armitage. As predicted Leia had tried to smooth things over but when Han had made his mind up about someone it could be hard to change it. They reach the kitchen, the sound of Bryan Adam’s voice seemingly getting louder. Leia is dancing around the kitchen as she chops up ingredients and Ben becomes quite alarmed. Han locks the door behind himself, following his son and Armitage. “You’re home early kiddo, I thought it was going to be at least another hour.” He remarks, leaning against a counter. Ben looks up, wondering what with the obvious observation. He has a feeling that Han was attempting to make a point or at least get to one. “Luke let the class out early, he has to take Rey dress shopping for her spring formal.” He replies somewhat truthfully. Of course, he could have hung out in the Library for a few hours like he always did but his priority was making sure Armitage was okay. He could endure a few rounds of twenty questions if it delayed his boyfriend having to return home. “I see you got my text, I wasn’t sure, I still haven’t gotten the hang of this damn phone.” Ben stares at his father somewhat blankly and confused. “Uh what message Dad?” Truthfully, he’d had his phone on do not disturb most of the day, the only messages really getting through were the ones from Armitage. Armitage seems to be shifting nervously as if afraid of where this conversation was going. Ben squeezes his hand lightly to reassure him, their fingers still very much entwined. “Oh….i told you Leia….this damned thing. Nice to see you Armitage” He walks off towards the study, his phone in his hands, looking as if he’d quite like to smash it. Ben's quite surprised his father is even acknowledging his boyfriend, normally he makes a string of sounds as a greeting before disappearing.

Leia turns away from the stove, the window is open proving a light spring breeze much to Bens irritation. He’d quite like to head to his bedroom now, but something tells him his mother has more to say so he waits, a little impatiently. “Your father was supposed to text you to invite Armitage to dinner, it seems by some happy co-incidence however you brought him home anyway.” Ben’s eyes immediately narrow. “Mom, what are you up to?” He’s not very good at reading facial expressions or tone of voice but he knows his mother far too well. “Nothing darling, I just thought it would be nice for us to all eat together.” She reasons, giving him a knowing look. Ben knows that he hasn’t exactly been eating downstairs that much lately, unless he’s using the bathroom he rarely leaves his room at all. 

Despite having a rare day off work, Leia was still dressed quite formally, her hair in a tight bun woven with plaits. Ben wonders if she was hoping this would be a formal occasion, a nice family dinner in the dining room. He’d been hoping to avoid that. One glance at Armitage tells him his boyfriend had been hoping the same. “Sure Mom, whatever, we’re going upstairs for a bit.” And with that he tugs on Armitage’s hand, signalling for him to follow him. “Keep the door open.” His mothers voice calls after them. “They're eighteen Leia, besides I don’t want to hear that. Door shut please.” It’s one of those rare moments he could literally hug his father but chooses not to. The house is due to be redecorated in the summer and Ben is dreading it.

As he leads the way up to his bedroom, he’s half tempted to just take Armitage out for dinner, it had been a while since he’d done that and he’s not sure either of them are prepared for the third degree that they are sure to get. He knows they’d never make it out of the door without Leia spotting them though and he doesn’t need a twenty-minute lecture on rudeness again thank you. He opens his bedroom door, the one furthest on the right once they’ve climbed the stairs. It’s large and extremely organized. Not a single book is out of place, all his clothes are in the wardrobe and the bed is made. It would be easy for someone to assume it was so tidy because of a housekeeper but the truth was, the housekeeper wasn’t allowed in Ben’s room. Nobody was allowed in his room unless they knocked first, a hurdle which Han and Leia still hadn’t managed to overcome. It had started from the age of seven, Ben had decided one day that people weren’t allowed in his room, Rey had been five years old and had turned his room into what looked like a Lego factory, she’d smashed his millennial falcon, something that had taken him and Han weeks to complete, and was playing with the bricks. That was probably one of the worst meltdowns he’d had as a child and it hadn’t gotten much better the next day either. Ben’s bedroom was his personal space, the only person he allowed inside without having to ask permission was Armitage and even then, Armitage always texted him first to let him know he was on his way.

The first thing Ben does once inside however is go to his laptop and switch it on, fully intending to blast some music so his nosey parents couldn’t listen in on conversation, not that he thought Han would. His father tended to keep his distance from Ben’s room if Armitage was around, Ben couldn’t really blame him. It saved a lot of awkwardness. As he’s tapping away and getting everything sorted out, Armitage comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around Ben’s waist and resting his head on the guy’s back. There’s a small smile on Ben’s face and he savours the moment. There aren’t many of them these days, it’s been worrying him. The redhead has been so distant since his father came back, almost as if afraid that everything good he had going for himself was going to disappear. Once his speakers are blasting fall out boy, he carefully turns in his boyfriends embrace, slightly amused over the fact he’s just that little bit taller than Armitage. “Hey.” His says, his voice it’s usual low murmur, dipping down to gently kiss him. There’s so much he wants to talk about, but Ben doesn’t dare. Empathy has always been difficult for him, it’s a minefield really but he’s learned to read Armitage better than everyone else, can tell for the most part when something is bothering him. “Hey.” The redhead replies before reaching for Ben’s hand and tugging him towards his bed, so they can sit down. 

“Have you forgiven me?” Armitage asks, there’s something shaky about his voice, a lack of confidence that Ben has not heard in a long time, not since before Brendol went off to rehab. “There’s nothing to forgive.” Ben replies, obsidian eyes locked upon the redhead. His boyfriend chases him for another kiss, a few years back this would have been a problem for Ben. Physical affection wasn’t something he was overly comfortable with, but it was yet another thing that he was getting used to enjoying, because of Armitage. Understanding love was difficult for Ben, he couldn’t always recognize it. 

He remembers being ten years old and asking Armie to tell him if he was ever ignoring love or if he was misinterpreting it. That had been shortly after he was diagnosed with Autism. He’d been so afraid of missing it, of not realising until it was too late. This was love, Ben might not of been able to recognise it head on in the beginning, but he knew now this was what it was. Caring so much about another person that even hearing their voice shake from emotion was enough to send the alarm bells ringing. Armitage has been acting different all day, Ben has wondered if he was just overthinking it but now he knows something is amiss. “Please talk to me.” Ben whispers, pressing his forehead against his boyfriends. Silence ensues for what feels like hours (it’s only five minutes) and then Armitage opens his mouth to speak, fingers curled into his boyfriend’s shirt as if Ben was the only thing anchoring him to this world.


	4. Everyone needs a little help sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although they had hoped to savour a few moments alone, finally declaring their love to one another, Luke makes an unexpected appearance and asks some concerned questions about what he and the college counsellor saw earlier.

The world seems to slow down around him, as Armitage grips Ben’s shirt the youngest Solo knows something is wrong. The way the redhead looks at him, there’s something about in his eyes that shows how terrified he is. It’s a look Ben has never seen before and he’s struggling to process it. “You’re going to have to give me an emotion.” He murmurs, it’s something they started doing when Ben was around ten. Because he couldn’t process facial expressions all that well, he’d ask Armitage to explain, although if they were in an argument that didn’t usually go well. Armitage takes a deep breath and looks down at their now joined together hands. “Afraid.” Ben had been right. The man was afraid, the question was, why? So many theories race around in his mind but he knows he has to ask, not just guess. “Why are you afraid?” His voice is its usual low murmur, obsidian eyes locked upon green bled with blue irises. 

It’s a dangerous question and one that Armitage might not be ready to answer. Ben fully expects to be pushed away again, to be told that he can handle this on his own. What happens next shocks him. Armitage opens his mouth and opens up to him. “Dad…… he’s…. we have to go back to London.” Ben almost wishes he hadn’t pushed. Those nine words send a rather sickly feeling throughout his body and it’s as if all the air has been sucked from Ben’s lungs. He feels like he’s been punched. Back to London? Ben’s face seems to contort, and he sucks in a large gulp of air. “Y- you can’t.” His eyes seem to blur, his fingers curling in against his boyfriends. “I don’t plan to Ben.” Armitage’s voice is hushed, he reaches across with his other hand to turn the youngest Solo’s face towards him. “I’ve been trying to get student accommodation, I was offered at the beginning of the year but didn’t go through with it.” From his tone however, it was clear this wasn’t a simple fix. “It’s going to take a while, I’d been discussing options with the guidance counsellor…my Dad found out.” He chokes the last part of his sentence, tears filling those green mixed with blue irises. 

Ben can now put the pieces together, the bruising and why Armitage had been in such a rush this morning with the concealer. Now that Ben is really concentrating, he can see the bruising that shows on Armitage’s wrist which is mostly hidden by his long shirt. This wasn’t simply a hit to the face this time. It makes sense, normally Armitage hugged Ben first thing in the morning, he hadn’t. Even when he’d pressed up against him earlier whilst the youngest solo worked on setting the laptop up he’d been extremely careful, as if afraid to get too close. “Armie…..” His voice shakes, eyes still on his wrist. He looks up at him, can see the panic that’s eating at his boyfriend. This explained why Armitage hadn’t argued as much about the idea of coming back here today. He’d wanted to, he’d needed to escape. Ben doesn’t dare hug him, afraid that if he does he will only cause him pain so instead he presses his lips gently to the redheads.

“Stay here…stay with me.” There’s such conviction in Ben’s voice, as if he could make everything okay with those five words. Armitage scoffs, not to be cruel but because he doesn’t see how that is a possibility. “Your parents would never allow it, in fact I’m pretty sure your father hates me.” It’s a good point however Ben was positive that hate was too strong a word. Han hated Brendol, Armitage’s father. He only judged the redhead based on the older Hux’s decisions. That opinion could be changed. “He’s warming up to you Armie, he actually spoke to you today. It’s progress.” Ben replies determinedly. There’s a look in his eyes that suggests he’s not going down here without a fight. He will not let Brendol take Armitage away. They worked through it the first time, but Ben will not allow a second. It isn’t fair. “I’ll talk to them, after dinner…please. “His words do not fall on deaf ears this time thankfully. “Fine…tonight and only if they agree.” Armitage sounds tired and reluctant to return home. Ben chooses to view this as a victory at least but it feels more like a failure that he couldn’t protect him.

It's not normally difficult to share close personal details with one another, they might only have been dating for six months but they’d been best friends for longer than that. Nobody understood Ben the way that Armitage did. Leaning forward, he presses his lips back against Armitage’s although the kiss is less brief than the last. There is something ever so innocent about the way it starts out, gradually progressing to something a lot more wanton. He’s careful, mostly because he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt him. Armitage however seems to catch and pulls back for a second. “I’m not made of glass Ben, I’m okay.” Ben doesn’t even have time to respond before the redhead’s lips are on his in a kiss filled with determination. Everything else seems to fade away and Ben finds himself falling backwards onto the bed, his back hitting the mattress. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” He murmurs, his breath coming out slightly ragged. Armitage simply grins at him, hovering above as he situates his legs on either side of him, straddling him. “Oh, I plan to finish it.” A grin is returned, although it’s a little uncertain. He wonders if he should stop this but the way his boyfriend is looking at him suggests Armitage wants to change the conversation, wants to forget for just a few moments.

Ben tries to sit up but the redhead simply pushes him back down. “Relax.” Armitage murmurs, leaning down so that his breath brushes against the youngest Solo’s ear. He can’t help but be glad that his laptop is still blasting out music. The redhead presses lips to Ben’s neck, a teasing brush that makes the slightly younger males breath stutter, ebony lashes fluttering closed for a second or two. He hasn’t locked the door but he’s not worried, his parents won’t walk in without knocking. Ben tries to focus on the moment at hand, the way Armitage’s lips glide down his neck, stopping now and again to such a fresh mark and remind Ben of who belongs to, who he’s always belonged to. They’d never gone further than getting one another off, Armitage had insisted on taking things slowly, not wanting to push Ben into something he wasn’t ready for. In this moment Ben realises he is ready, obviously right now wasn’t a good idea, they couldn’t. But a later time, when they were alone maybe. He’s ready. There’s a change in his facial expression, Armitage pulling back to make sure his boyfriend was okay.

“I love you.” Ben’s not sure where that comes from, how the words can so easily slip his lips when he's been trying to say them for weeks but struggling to articulate the feeling. He knows however that this is true, he loves him, and no matter how rushed it might seem to everyone else, he feels as if it’s taken him too long to say it. Armitage seems taken aback, perhaps because he hadn’t expected it. Ben knows he’s been patient, knows that Armitage has held back for the sake of Ben. He reaches out, fingers brushing against the mans jaw. “I love you too.” The redhead’s voice is a low murmur, his eyes boring into those beautiful obsidian ones that gave him so much joy, even when things felt like they were going to crumble beneath his feet.

A smile dances itself across Ben’s face and emotion weighs heavy in his chest. He thinks quietly this would have been the perfect moment to go further than before but they can’t lose focus in their surroundings, not with his parent’s downstairs. That smile, the one that Armitage returns, Ben is a sucker for that. That smile alone can reassure him and make him feel things he’s never felt before. How could he even think about being without it? No. That couldn’t happen, he wouldn’t allow it to. Before he can continue that train of thought however, there’s a knock at the door. Armitage immediately climbs off Ben, looking mournful as he does so. Ben gives him an apologetic look, they could continue this later. He forces himself to sit up, his hair in slight disarray. “Come in.” He calls, his voice a little cracked around the edges. Ben is undeniably happy in this moment, it’s tinged of course by the anxiety of possibly losing Armitage, but he feels every single emotion associated to love. It’s bright and warm and terrifying all at the same time.

When the door opens it’s a face he hadn’t been expecting. Luke. Ben looks at him almost blankly for a moment or two before forcing himself to speak. “I thought you were taking Rey shopping?” He asks silently hoping that nothing appears amiss to his Uncle, that Luke hasn’t noticed the way his hairs messed up, sticking up a little at the back. “I am, but I thought maybe could talk first kid.” Oh, there’s that voice, full of empathy and sympathy and other things Ben doesn’t understand. “Sure…but Armitage stays, I’m not sending him out into the hall, Dad’s blasting Bryan Adam’s and is probably dancing.” He shudders at even the thought, a man embarrassed by his parents although he does so lovingly. “That’s fine, I was hoping to talk to both of you.” Ben does not like the sound of that, and what he likes even less is the way Luke is looking at his boyfriend, as if he knows exactly what happened on campus today. Ben supposes for most students, they had the luxury of being treated like an adult now and their parents didn’t involve themselves in their personal life. Ben didn’t have that luxury. He was still handled with kid gloves because he was different.

He needed this special attention of course, he struggled to be independent sometimes and he was grateful for the help he received from his family but sometimes it could be a little overbearing. “The counselor has a duty of care Ben…. He was concerned by how both of you are acting, especially Armitage. He reported to the Dean that he’d seen some bruising.” Ben suddenly becomes defensive. “Are you accusing me of hurting him?” The mere thought of it makes anger flare, looking his Uncle directly in the eyes. “No, no Ben I’m not saying that at all, but the Dean did admit to me that was what he thought.” Of course, he had, Luke was related to Ben. He’d had a duty to report this. “I managed to persuade him to let me talk to you both. I spoke to Han first, of course he had a few theories.” All of them no doubt directed at Brendol and a hundred percent right. Armitage remains silent, staring at his shoes his face paler than usual. The atmosphere in this room has become increasingly fragile, full of broken glass. “Ben didn’t hurt me.” His voice is a broken tremor, he finally looks Luke in the eyes. “He didn’t.” He doesn’t elaborate, despite what his father is doing to him he can’t be the one to admit the truth.

Ben reaches for his hand, entwining their fingers again to comfort him. “What did Dad say?” Ben asks, almost dreading the answer. Luke takes a steadying breath, this is a difficult conversation and one that Armitage clearly wasn’t ready to have. “He suggested that Armitage stay here tonight. I wanted to make sure you boys were okay with that.” Ben’s shoulders are still tensed, he wants to confide in Luke, to tell him what’s really going on. To confirm those theories Han and Luke had clearly come up with. He doesn’t dare. Armitage hasn’t spoken since his previous outburst. He only nods at Luke’s words. “Yeah, it’s okay with me, I was going to ask if he could.” Ben murmurs. At least they were all on the same page. The redhead is busying himself with looking around the room as if interested in the way it was decorated, his eyes lingering on the large bookshelf that took up most of the left side of the room. It was Ben’s favourite place in the world, right next to the bay window he liked sitting in with Armitage on occasion.

“Okay, I’ll let your Dad know. You two should probably head downstairs soon, your Mom wants you to help lay the table.” His eyes find Ben’s and he wonders if there are going to be more questions once he does so or if his parents are going to leave the subject for now. Whilst he’s in mid thought, Luke is already moving shutting the door and leaving. “They know.” It’s Armitage who speaks now, his eyes finding those of his boyfriend. “Did you…” He begins to ask, and Ben vehemently shakes his head. “No, I swear. It must have been this morning, Luke saw me patching your face up.” He suddenly wishes he’d taken the redhead to the bathroom and not outside. There’s a slow breath that comes from Armitage and he swallows the lump in his throat. “It’s fine. I can’t hide it forever right? Someone was always going to find out.” He looks like he might be sick. Ben moves a little closer to him. “Your safe here, you can stay tonight, we’ll figure out something tomorrow.” His words are absolute, Armitage isn’t alone. “I’d better go set the table up, let Mom grill me some more. You can stay here if you’d like, until Dinner. That book you left here last week, it’s on my desk and still bookmarked.” Ben knows the last thing the redhead wants is to join him downstairs where no doubt Han and Leia are talking about him. A kiss is pressed to his boyfriend’s cheek, and Armitage turns his head to capture his lips instead.

“I’ll be okay up here.” He’s clearly trying to summon his usual stiff upper lip, to prove that he can handle anything but it’s clear he’s exhausted and frayed around the edges. Ben feels slightly guilty for having to leave but he knows if he doesn’t, Leia will be up here in seconds and that will make it worse. “I’ll be back soon, I promise, I’ll take my phone and you can text me.” It’s a reassurance and with that Ben grabs his phone and reluctantly leaves his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little longer than the first three and mainly because i'm having so much fun writing this! i expect this to be a decent sized fic, i still have so much i want to do but i do promise to try and not drag it out for too long because thats neither fun for me or you guys!. As always, feedback is welcome <3


	5. We protect the ones we love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following a particularly awkward conversation with his Uncle Luke, Ben ends up in an emotional one with his mother and finally opens up about what's been happening.

On the way downstairs Ben attempts to think of what he’s going to say, how he’s going to answer the questions that are sure to be fired at him by his mother. His relationship with his parents was quite good, although with his father it could be a little strained. He couldn’t be as open with Han as he was with Leia. It had been this way since Ben had hit his teenage years. Now he was eighteen and still wasn’t a hundred percent sure how to talk to his father about anything personal. It was a mystery that he still hadn’t solved. As he reaches the kitchen however, he realises he doesn’t have to worry about that. He finds himself alone with his mother Leia who honestly looks a little more worried than she had earlier. The atmosphere in the kitchen has certainly changed and this prompts Ben to ask a question. “Where’s Dad?” When Leia looks towards him he can feel his stomach turn to lead. “He went to Brendol’s to go some clothes and other belongings for Armitage.” He blinks at her real slow, trying to understand how she could possibly think that was a good idea.

Han and Brendol Hux hated each other, hate probably wasn’t a strong enough word. Loathed was more appropriate and that was the exact reason that Ben was currently staring at his mother like she had lost her mind. “He’s going to get himself arrested.” It’s the only comment he makes before he grabs the placemats and begins placing them around the table. He’s in deep thought for most of this process and deliberately doesn’t text Armitage to tell him what’s going on, he's got enough pressure on his shoulders. Instead he draws out placing the placemats for as long as possible before returning to the kitchen to grab the plates. “Mom, what do you know?” It’s a loaded question and when Leia meets his eyes he can see she knows more than she’s been letting on. “Enough that I feel ashamed for not acting sooner my darling.” Her voice is quiet. She never talks much about her own biological father, a man who had been driven to his death by his alcohol addiction. Or her biological mother who had died in childbirth. Leia Organa had been adopted by wonderful people, and those people had become loving parents, and then loving grandparents who they saw every weekend. 

Leia sees the situation for what it is, wishes she’d acted sooner. They’d always had their doubts about Armitage, Han more than Leia and she knows it’s these doubts, these fears that have coloured their perception and she’s ashamed of it. Ashamed that she hadn’t noticed a child was being abused, that her son was having to deal with this by himself rather than with the help of his parents. Armitage had been completely alone, and Ben had been forced to try to handle this without giving Armitage cause to think he was going to tell someone. It had become a complicated situation that could have been caught head on if Leia and Han had intervened the first time Brendol started drinking. They could have told someone. 

Ben can see the shame in her eyes, remembers seeing that same look in his grandfather Bail’s eyes when he spoke about Anakin Skywalker and how he had spent a long time keeping Leia’s true parentage from her. “Why didn’t you?” Ben asks, his voice a low murmur. He doesn’t know if he’s angry or sad. His emotions are all over the place, if anything he was hurting for the man he loved who was currently in his bedroom pacing back and forth wondering if this would be the last time he saw Ben. “I thought I was seeing things, I’ve always poked my nose where it didn’t quite belong. Sometimes the results are good Ben, other times that kind of action can put others in danger. I didn’t want to put Armitage in danger. I didn’t have proof.” She’d been caught between a rock and a hard place. Ben understands what that feels like. “I felt like that. I could see the bruises, but he kept denying it, soon it just became something we didn’t speak about. Every time I tried to push he shut me out. So I started….helping him hide it.” He’s equally ashamed, he knows now he should of spoken out.

As angry as Armitage might have been, it might of saved him from all of this. Ben’s reasoning had been selfish, he’d been so afraid of the redhead shutting him out that he hadn’t considered that the only thing to do was be honest with someone else. He thinks of that fearful look that had etched itself across the redhead’s face when Luke had confronted them. It was the same look Armitage got whenever he had a missed call from his father or a missed text. Ben takes a shallow breath and takes the plates to the dining room, methodically setting them down in each place whilst trying to ignore the way his hands shook as he did so. Leia watches her son from the kitchen, she can see the effect this has had on him. “Ben, is this why you agreed to see a therapist?” Her voice is gentle and light as she approaches him, but it’s filled with worry. “You were so against it in the beginning, I was…shocked when you agreed.” Ben glances up from the end of the dining table and swallows the lump in his throat. “Yes. I never mentioned his name, it was part of the reason.” The other half was to do with the fact Luke had spoken with him, encouraging him to do so because Ben had a hard time opening up to anybody. 

Leia closes her eyes, leaning against one of the dining chairs. “My darling, I wish you had come to me.” She murmurs and yet understands why he didn’t. “I know, I’m sorry.” He murmurs. He can feel his eyes prick with hot tears. He tries to blink them away, but one rolls down his cheek. Ben has felt helpless for so long, not knowing what to do. Every time he had tried to get Armitage to talk about it, the conversation had been shut down. Leia hastily walks towards her son. He’s never been one for physical affection, but he’s never denied his mother a hug and he’s not about to start now. He wraps his arms around her, allowing his eyes to close for a moment or two. It’s not him who needs the hug though, he’s not the one who’s had to endure physical abuse since he was a child. Ben pulls back after a minute or two and looks his mother in the eyes. “You can’t send him back there Mom, please.” The desperation in his voice is apparent, still a low murmur but it’s thick with emotion.

“If he wants to go back I can’t stop him Ben, I don’t have any legal power to do so. I’m not his Mom.” She murmurs gently. “All I can do is try to convince him to stay, although something tells me it would be received better if it came from you.” She gently reaches out to ruffle his hair. “He is always welcome to stay here Ben, I want you to both know that. He doesn’t need to sneak out in the middle of the night, and yes I know about that. I caught him the other night and promised to not tell your father.” She offers him a weak smile. Ben can’t return it, he doesn’t have the energy so he just nods. “I can…talk to him about it.” He reasons, perhaps he could get Armitage to listen to reason. He tries to not focus on the fact that all their conversations about this previously had ended with the redhead walking away angry and refusing to talk. “Believe it or not Ben, you’re probably the one person he will listen to, do you remember your first boyfriend?” She asks pointedly and Ben cringes just a little. “I do, he broke my heart, and Armie broke his nose.” His lips turn upwards slightly. Leia chuckles. “Armitage couldn’t hurt a fly on a normal day, but the second you were hurt he acted. He cares about you Ben, he protected you from someone who was causing you pain. If you talk to him, if you open up about your worries, your concerns he will listen.”

Ben wants to believe her, deep down he knows that his mother is right, but it doesn’t make him worry any less. They finally finish setting up the table and the silence that ensues is anything but comfortable. Ben’s on edge, swaying from side to side, torn between helping his mother with dinner or going back upstairs to Armitage. Leia passes him, so she can place the carbonara into a large dish. “You can go back up now, I’ll call you in a few minutes.” The smile he gives her is one of gratefulness. Ben wastes no time running up the stairs, mostly to escape anymore questions.

He finds his boyfriend laying on his back looking up at the ceiling, his eyes a little glassy and cheeks red. Ben has rarely seen Armitage cry, at least up until recently and he recognises it as a sign that everything is not okay. It takes a lot to make him cry, he’s usually better than Ben at holding in his emotions and the youngest Solo realises it’s because he’s had no choice. He carefully settles on the bed beside him, trying to articulate his thoughts but nothing comes out. He follows Armitage’s line of sight which is the glow in the dark star stickers that had been put on the ceiling when Ben was about five. He’d left them there because he thought they were cool. Armitage’s hand slides into his and Ben relaxes just a little. “I’m sorry.” Ben murmurs, this causes a confused reaction from the redhead. “Why are you sorry?” He can’t fathom why Ben would feel guilty. “I didn’t tell anybody, I should of, it would have helped you.” His words feel a little robotic, it’s hard to express how he’s feeling. “I didn’t want you to, I shut you down about it because I was ashamed.” His boyfriend’s words don’t make him feel any less guilty. 

Armitage must know this because he lightly squeeze’s Ben’s hand. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” He finally confesses, his words a little shaken. Ben turns slightly on his side, lacing their fingers together. “You’re not alone, you can stay here, with me.” He says it so absolute, as if it’s the best option which he privately thinks is. “You know that’s not possible.” Armitage replies. “We’ve been over this, your parents won’t agree to it.” Ben’s expression doesn’t change however. “Actually, Mom pretty much said it’s possible.” Before he can elaborate however Leia is calling the pair of them downstairs for dinner. Ben is sure they’ll have more than enough time to talk about this later. He sits up but doesn’t pull his hand away from his boyfriends. “You’re impossible.” Armitage huffs but there is the barest hint of colour in his cheeks, something Ben hasn’t seen in a while. “I’m not impossible Armie, I exist.” He points out completely missing the point. The redhead rolls his eyes in a good naturedly way before standing up, pulling Ben with him. “Come on, before she comes up here.” He reasons. Ben shrugs his shoulders and follows suit. Hopefully dinner would go without a hitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than the last but i wanted to focus mainly on Ben's relationship with his mother. As always, feedback is welcome!.
> 
> ps. i post regular updates on my tumblr about when i'm working on the next chapter so if you're ever wondering why one is taking a little longer than the others you can always check my blog! it's anicreates.tumblr.com (: <3 also the next chapter will have a little time jump!.


	6. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben attempts to make himself and Armitage breakfast, however his older brother Jacen decides to pay a visit after talking with Han about whats been going on.

The weekend was something Ben had been looking forward to, the week had been exhausting and for Armitage it had been absolutely nerve wracking. Ben has watched as the redhead has become more and more fragile as the week has unfolded and he knows the weekend will be time for them to both breathe. Besides, Leia and Han having a weekend away which gave Ben and Armitage time alone. This wasn’t exactly rare for Ben given the fact that his parents both worked long hours, but Luke was always popping in and out, so it wasn’t like he was alone. No doubt they’d see the art teacher throughout the next too days. Ben can’t help but hope that Luke is busy though, he wants some time alone with his boyfriend and he knows Armitage needs some time away from all the sympathetic looks Ben’s family have been throwing at him. It hasn’t been easy for the redhead, the entire week has been spent balancing college, work and trying to make Brendol see sense. Ben was honestly surprised Han hadn’t been arrested with all the altercations, one of which happened outside the college campus. Brendol was digging his heals in, refusing to leave for London until Armitage ‘grew up and realised his priorities’. The man was taking every avenue he could in order to make things difficult for his son. Thankfully Han and Leia had been more than welcoming, and Ben was more than certain they could make this work. 

It wasn’t going to be easy of course, they weren’t used to living together but they could overcome any challenges that presented themselves. That much he was certain of. Ben had purposely done his best to not wake the redhead, Armitage had a rough night last night. His father had called his phone so many times that the redhead had actually lost his temper and chucked it out of Ben’s window. It was smashed now and Ben had to retrieve his phone from the year before so Armitage had something that worked. 

The youngest Solo makes his way to the kitchen, hoping to be as quiet as possible. He starts off by filling Chewbacca’s bowl, an action that ends with the dog racing through the house and barking which does not help Ben who had been hoping to let Armitage sleep in. Hopefully his boyfriend slept through it. Once Chewbacca is fed, Ben washes his hands and then applies hand sanitizer. Each movement is part of his routine and it’s one he follows quite strictly. Having a routine has always worked best for Ben, planning out each part of his day so that he doesn’t become surprised or overwhelmed. It’s been this way for a long time. A routine is something of a comfort to Ben if he’s a hundred percent honest with himself. He welcomes it.

He figures he can make them both some breakfast, take it upstairs to Armitage and surprise him. Thankfully he had gotten his cooking skills from his mother and not his father. Han was the kind of person who could burn water. Something deemed impossible and yet he somehow had a gift. He remembers his mother commenting that the man couldn’t even open an egg. Ben snorts at that memory, a grin playing on his lips. He’s a lucky guy he knows that, he’s grown up in a house surrounded by love and even though things had been difficult he knows he has a good support system. It makes him feel guilty for all those times he’s complained and all those times he’s acted ungrateful. Ben knows that Armitage has had it a lot worse, his mother had died when he was a kid and his father had turned to beer to cope, going from being a respectable member of the community to a man who was cruel and unjust towards his son.

Ben bites down on his bottom lip and tries to focus on the subject at hand. It would hardly be a great surprise if he was so deep in thought that he burnt his boyfriends breakfast. Using his height to his advantage he opens the top cupboard and reaches effortlessly for the top shelf to get the flour and the rest of the ingredients, moving to the fridge afterwards to grab a few eggs. He decides to stick with something simple, he hasn’t been awake for long enough to attempt something complicated. Apart from his bedroom, the kitchen was probably Ben’s favourite room in the house. It held memories of his mother teaching him how to cook from a young age, it was something that had become a comfort to Ben because he was someone who felt as if everything was out of his control. There was so much around him that just didn’t make sense. When he was in the kitchen he had control over what he was doing, and everything went as he wanted as long as he payed attention and remembers the way of doing things.

Just as he’s assembling the rest of the stuff he needs, the sound of the front door brings him out of his thoughts. “Mom?” His voice is uncertain, mostly because he knew Leia and Han were supposed to be away this weekend. “No little brother, I’m not Mom.” His older brother Jacen appears, a goofy grin painted on his face. “Jace?” The shock is evident, if only because he hadn’t been told his brother was dropping by. Jacen and his twin sister Jaina were five years older than Ben. Jaina lived in New York too and Jacen was a physicist at a University in Florida. Considering Ben lived in Westchester New York, Ben didn’t see a lot of his older brother. If anything, he saw more of Jaina. Ben blinks for a moment or two as if trying to process this, a bowl in his hands.

“I thought we weren’t going to see you until next month?” Ben tries to process this as carefully as possible, an interruption to his daily routine was not something he was prepared for, but he also knew it was out of his control. Not everyone was as planned out as he was, his mother of course had her own schedules for work but when she was at home she didn’t schedule every part of the day. Jacen leans against one of the counter tops. “Well Dad called, said he and Mom were going away for the weekend and Jaina has gone to Paris with the kids so, he asked if I’d stop by. He said….you could use someone to talk to right now.” Of course, he had, because Han couldn’t leave well enough alone and let Ben deal with things the way he normally did. “I’m fine, Dad’s just a nerfherder.” He shakes his head, rolling obsidian eyes.

He starts cracking eggs mostly to busy his hands whilst they have what Ben is sure is going to be an awkward conversation. “Really? Because you don’t look fine. It’s what, nine am and you look like you just got out of bed. Even on a weekend you’ve normally showered and dressed by now. And you’re cracking eggs like Dad.” Ben makes an irritated sound as Jacen takes the eggs from him “Go get dressed, find some pants please, I’ll work on breakfast.” It occurs to Ben he’s actually still in his sleep shirt and a pair of boxers, he’d sort of skipped his usual ritual. “Fine…but make Pancakes, they're not for me.” Ben would be having toaster waffles; the pancakes were for Armitage. “Yeah yeah I know, your acting like I’ve never been home on a weekend before Ben. Go.” The older Solo instructs, brushing light brown hair out of his eyes.

Ben looks so different from his parents, from his siblings. There was a time when he had agonized over whether he was adopted. He remembers asking his grandpa Bail if like his Mom, he was adopted. They’d soon quelled those curious questions by showing him a picture of his biological grandfather when he was younger. Although Anakin’s hair had been lighter than Ben’s, the resemblance was uncanny. Jaina and Jacen had light hair, with big blue eyes and much resembled their mother and father. The twins were shorter than Ben, but most people were. He’d always felt the odd one out, as if he didn’t quite belong. He often had to look at that picture of Anakin to reassure himself.

He trudges up the stairs, muttering under his breath his irritation mostly directed at his father. He had hoped that he would have a weekend along with Armitage without the constant interruption of his parents but apparently Han couldn’t even let him have that. He knows deep down it’s because his father cares about him and Ben has always found it easier to talk to Jacen than to his parents. He takes a quick shower and then begins the long process of trying to find clothes that don’t irritate his skin. Today it’s a little harder, he’s on edge mostly because he’s anticipating a family breakfast now when he’d been hoping to eat breakfast in the privacy of his own room. He tries as hard as possible to make sure he doesn’t wake Armitage but after he knocks over a lamp trying to pull on a pair of jeans because he can’t control his long limbs, it’s clear the redhead is awake.

“Hey you okay?.” Ben would of preferred if Armitage had been irritated at him, instead the redhead looks at him with concern which he usually does when the youngest Solo almost hurts himself due to his clumsiness. Armitage is already out of bed, his hair somehow not sticking up in every direction like Ben’s always did. His eyes are still dull with sleepiness, but he moves towards the lamp and picks it back up. “Yeah I’m fine, just balancing issues.” The sound Ben makes is a little exasperated. Today already felt like it was going to be a difficult one and he’d been hoping to avoid that. Armitage frowns, reaching out to lightly squeeze his boyfriends shoulder. “Take it slow okay?.” Ben hates himself, the last thing the redhead needs is to worry about him. “I’m okay Armie.” He murmurs and offers him a reassuring smile finally pulling a clean shirt over his head deciding it was comfortable.

The redhead kisses him on the cheek before disappearing into the bathroom with carefully folded clothes. That was another thing, Armitage and Ben to the outside eye seemed completely different. Armitage was the kind of person who dressed as if he was going to work every single day. Smart, his hair styled just so and wearing long sleeved shirts or stylish polo shirts. Not a single hair out of place and Ben preferred to dress mostly in black, favouring hoodies over a sweater and his hair was almost shoulder length at this point. They were a pair of people you wouldn’t expect to see together and yet in personality they couldn’t be more perfect for one another. Opposites really did attract.

He makes his way downstairs, deciding he could try and get Jacen to ease up on the third degree when Armitage joined them. It was going to be fine. He hopes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! the next few chapters might be a little slower because i have a few things going on at home but i'll try to write asap! as always you can check my tumblr : anicreates.tumblr.com for updates etc. <3


	7. Tell me the truth and i'll tell you no lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast with Jacen is a little awkward and Ben has a theory on why he's suddenly stopped by. Armitage asks Ben to consider the future.

Jacen is usually pretty laid back unlike his sister. Jaina shared Ben’s love of organization, Jacen had always found that aspect of his sibling’s personality to be irritating. Especially when they were all growing up together. Ben could be completely inflexible when it came to organization, his rigid schedules often the source of argument when they had been younger. Now it was a little easier to deal with at least for his siblings. Because they understood that his rigid thinking couldn’t be changed and trying to would only make him distressed. The trip downstairs is taken rather slowly, as if Ben is hesitating and truthfully, he is. The past week has been overwhelming but more so for Armitage. He’s currently staying in a house that is not his own, with a family that hasn’t always thought very highly of him, the only comfort in all this was that he wasn’t separated from Ben.

Ben can hear the shower start up and a fond smile spreads across his lips. This facial expression soon turns to something with a little more apprehension. Jacen seems relaxed for the most part, humming something as he moves around the kitchen and puts plates in the dining room. So much for hiding up in his room. He looks at the ceiling for a moment or two. “The dining room, really Jace?.” His words are not met with reply which is infuriating. Each minute that passes fills him with trepidation. Normally he looked forward to his brothers visits, they didn’t happen very open, perhaps three or four times a year. So, a spontaneous one? That was normally out of the question. “Are you sure that you’re only here because of Dad?” Ben normally had trouble seeing the subtext in things, it was incredibly difficult for someone who saw the world in a different way from other people, but he knows Jacen pretty well, and the man would only take time way from work and his own family if he was truly worried. His older brother gives him a look, perhaps as if to ask Ben what he thinks. 

“You don’t need to be concerned about me.” Ben tries again, he knows that sometimes his family is under the impression that he can’t handle the real world, they want to protect him from it but he’s eighteen now, he’s not a child and he’s become rather knowledgeable about how cruel the world can be. “I’m not the one being abused, maybe you should offer your concern to my boyfriend.” His voice is low, it resonates anger and it’s because Ben doesn’t understand why no one is offering Amirtage this level of help. Han and Leia are trying, he can see that but they’re still unsure how to approach the subject with the redhead and they don’t want to scare him off. Jacen doesn’t flinch at his brother’s words, he’s always been quite receptive of the truth, handling it a calm. “I know Ben, Dad told me.” His voice is soft as he finishes setting up the plates and cutlery.

“Okay, I offered to come up for the weekend. You’re right Ben, you’re not the one who’s being mistreated, Armitage is and has been for as long as we’ve probably known him. I’m here for both of you, I know you think that you have to handle this alone. Mom said as much, but you don’t. Ben when have you ever had to be alone?” Ben falters at his brother’s words, knowing it’s true. He’d spent so long hiding this, thinking he was protecting his boyfriend but the truth was he wasn’t. “You’re protecting me.” Ben murmurs. “You’re protecting both of us.” He should of known, Jacen was the guy who held this family together when it was struggling. “Always, little brother. Now take a seat whilst we wait for your boyfriend to show his face, we’re all going to talk.” Ben tries desperately to not sigh at this, but he’s not looking forward to it either. Jacen knew Armitage, his memories of the redhead were mostly of when he had been younger. Once Jacen had moved away, his home visits were so far and few that he didn’t always get to spend much time with his little brother. Ben had a very rigid schedule for each day, he could be at college in the morning and in the library at night. Altering it never ended well.

“Just don’t…be too head on.” Ben tries, his lips stretched a little. “It’s a sensitive subject, he barely talks about it with me.” He doesn’t want Jacen to ambush Armitage because that’s going to make things worse. The older slowly tilts his head a little. “I’m an experimental physicist in a well-known university Ben, I know how to handle myself.” Ben’s not quite sure what being a physicist has to do with being sensitive on a subject of abuse, but he simply nods at him. “Whilst your credentials are impressive, I don’t really get what that has to do with anything.” Perhaps he was being a little rude but to Jacen, Ben was just being Ben. “I’m a professional man Ben, I know what not to say.” He offers an explanation of what he meant. It’s apparently good enough for his brother because Ben nods again and looks at the table for a moment or two.

Each minute that passes feels like an hour, and his heart is hammering excessively in his chest. The door opens twice in the time it takes Armitage to appear, Luke who’d left his car keys over here again, and then Rey who claimed he had also left his phone here. The man would lose his head if it wasn’t attached to his body. Ben is pretty oblivious to the fact Luke was just checking in on them because he’d seen Jacen’s car outside. Finally, the sound of footsteps reaches his ears and Ben turns ever so slightly in his chair to see Armitage approach them looking a little blindsided. It occurs to the youngest Solo he probably should have warned him Jacen was here for the weekend. “Mr Solo.” Armitage had a habit of being formal when he didn’t know a person well, but this greeting causes Jacen to bark out a laugh. “Okay I know I’m old, but I haven’t turned into my father yet.” He remarks. A smile is managed by Armitage, but Ben can’t tell if it’s genuine or forced. He wishes he knew.

“Fine, Jacen then.” There seems to be some degree of warmth in his tone at least. He takes a seat beside ben uncertainly and Ben reaches for Amirtage’s hand to comfort him. The dining room was quite spacious, usually used for holidays or family dinners. It was Leia’s pride and joy honestly, she had spent years making it into what it was now. Ben lets his eyes wander around the room whilst Jacen rises from his chair in order to check on the waffles that he was currently making. Ben squeezes Armitage’s hand, turning his head so he can kiss him. “You could have warned me Ben.” The redhead murmurs, his voice low enough so Jacen couldn’t hear. “I didn’t know until I got downstairs earlier, I was making breakfast and he just appeared.” He knows it’s not much of an excuse but Armitage seems to accept it.

So much hangs in the air, they still need to talk about this all. The past week has been focused on making sure Armitage was safe, and somewhere he didn’t have to fear being attacked but the pair of them had not actually addressed the subject itself. It was almost as if they were both afraid to. Ben doesn’t want Armitage to feel like he’s being ambushed, he’s afraid of being pushed away again. Despite knowing why it was happening, why Armitage was withdrawing, had not stopped the hurt Ben felt when he was shut out. He knows it’s not the man’s fault, he has his reasons for keeping it all to himself. Armitage had been taught that opening up to people made him weak, something that had been instilled in him by his father Brendol. His mother had died when he was a child, and he rarely ever spoke about her unless it was with Ben. The pair had always been close, it was a wonder that it had only been six months since they had started dating but there had been complications along the way.

Ben wasn’t someone who had gone looking for a relationship, if anything he had spent most of his teenage years trying to avoid his, his only interest in his art classes. He hadn’t needed anybody but Armitage, his best friend. He hadn’t exactly been the typical teenage boy, more interested in learning than anything else. This had resulted in quite a few incidents of bullying, his only defence being his best friend. However, there were times when Ben had found himself in confrontations because he was protecting Armitage. They were both outsiders who had learned to protect one another. It had gotten to a point where they didn’t need anyone else. Maybe that’s why it hurts so much that Amirtage had been keeping him at arm’s length when it came to this. 

Jacen returns and Ben mumbles some thanks whilst Armitage helps himself to pancakes. Ben digs into his waffles, if only so that he doesn’t have to think about the conversation that was soon to follow. Jacen hasn’t driven back to ‘suburbia’ just to make him breakfast. There was a deeper reason and they all knew it, the older Solo could dress it up as wanting to be there for his brother but Ben was beginning to think that Jacen and Han had been more worried about something else. He’s pretty smart, he can figure this out. If Jacen isn’t here just to check up on things, it means he’s here to prevent something. Did they suspect Brendol would attempt to come to the house?. His head hurts just thinking about it. He hopes he’s wrong. He’s not sure how Armitage would react if the man showed up out of nowhere.

Breakfast is awkward, they barely speak apart from Jacen asking a few questions here and there, trying to take an interest in their lives. Ben becomes more relaxed when Jacen leaves the room to go take a call. Ben takes the dishes to the dishwasher, stacking them just so and switching it on before grabbing a carton of orange juice out of the fridge. “Come on, we can go sit the roof on my bedroom.” They usually did this, that part of the roof was somewhat flat, they sat with their legs overhanging sometimes or they’d lay down and stair at the sky. It was a sure way of being able to talk without being overheard. Their hands find one another again, fingers entwining with ease and when Armitage finally looks at him, there seems to be a smile on his face. 

They climb out of his window, settling onto the low part of the roof, Ben carefully placing the orange juice down. He probably should have gotten some glasses, but it wasn’t like they wouldn’t end up drinking the whole thing anyway. They always did. Armitage settles beside him and Ben finally realises the redhead is wearing one of his shirts. Considering how different they were in body type, it’s rather baggy on Armitage. Ben is taller than him, his shoulders broader. “You look good.” He murmurs softly, reaching out to gently cup his cheek. The redhead smirks. “Yeah? I’m still not wearing this outside.” His words are teasing and for a second everything else just melts away. Ben has missed this and he knows that his boyfriend has too. “Uh huh.” He exhales softly and lays back, Armitage following him. They lay side by side, watching the clouds.

“Is Jacen going to be here all weekend?.” The redhead asks. Ben makes a sound, wondering how to answer this. “I don’t know, he didn’t say but something tells me probably?.” He doesn’t voice his theory as to why his brother was here. Ben is used to this, the supervision that often comes from his family members, but Armitage isn’t. He’s a lot more independent than Ben, he drives, works more hours than he does whilst balancing college, goes to all his doctor’s appointments alone. Sometimes Ben’s reminded of how different they are, and how much help he requires. Thinking about it makes him feel bad, makes him wonder if he’s holding Armitage back.

“This isn’t a permanent solution Ben.” Armitage murmurs and the youngest Solo turns his head ever so slightly. “I know….Armie nobody said it had to be, you’re waiting for student accommodation right? So, you just…stay here until that happens.” He seems to be missing the point. “Actually Ben…what I’m trying to say is that maybe we could….when that happens, move in together.” That’s a heavy question. Ben’s never really thought about it, living by himself wasn’t an option right now but he’d never thought about them living together. It wasn’t something they had talked about until now but as he lays here thinking about it, he realises it could actually work and it was a sure way to get back some independence. He loved his family, he loved his parents, but he couldn’t deny that they did a lot for him and sometimes he felt as if he was being suffocated.

There’s a light breeze, the sun is on the other side of the house which means sunglasses aren’t required right now which is good because he’d forgotten to grab them. “I think that…maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” He mumbles and he’s unable to hide the smile on his face. He can see the tension leave Armitage a little and he wonders how long he’s been thinking about this. “I think it would be good for both of us.” It gives Armitage something to look forward to and it’s a step into the future for the both of them. Today feels a little lighter and they soon dissolve into discussion about it, not noticing as the time passes. The rest of the day kind of passes by and even Jacen's presence doesn't affect the sudden hopefulness that fills the pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these updates are taking a little longer, i'm trying to balance a lot at once!. I hope you guys enjoy this one, and as always feedback is welcome!. The next chapter may contain some more sexual themes. Ps. Feel free to check my tumblr for progress on an update etc : anicreates.tumblr.com <3


	8. You're my favourite song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we have some slightly smutty goodness in which they finally go all the way.

A gasp slips the youngest Solo’s lips. Armitage’s lips trail down his neck, sucking little marks here and there. It’s the late afternoon and they’ve finally gotten some time to themselves. Ben loves these moments. There are no interruptions and it’s just them. He enjoys being underneath him, the feeling of his boyfriend’s legs on either side of Ben’s waist. There’s usually a stopping point because up until recently Ben hasn’t been ready to go any further and Armitage has been nothing but respectful of this. Physical touch didn’t come easily to Ben, he’d never really understood the need for it. Perhaps that was why he hadn’t had his first relationship until he was seventeen. Not everyone would have been as patient as Armitage was being, it had been weeks before Ben would even hold his hand. They’d come along way and now Ben was underneath him, looking upon him with obsidian eyes. “Ben do you want me to stop?” The redhead’s words are soft, full of concern and Ben realises he’s probably been staring. “No.” That comes out a lot more confident than he had thought it would but perhaps that’s proof alone that he’s no longer as nervous as he had been before. Armitage considers his words for a moment or two as if trying to make certain that this was what Ben wanted. Ben knows they’ve had many close calls, moments when he’s found himself backing out. It’s a surprise really that Armitage has been so cool about it, not a lot of people would be.

When you give your heart to someone there is a lot that can go wrong. When Ben was five, his Dad left for four years because he couldn’t cope with his responsibilities. Han came back on Ben’s ninth birthday. He’d watched his parent’s marriage suffer, had seen his mothers heart break. He didn’t have all the information when it came to love, didn’t know how to process it. He’s been lucky to find a friend in this man from such a young age. They’d gone to the same schools, even Brendol moving away hadn’t stopped them from spending time together. All those recesses, all those lunch breaks that Armitage and Ben had just spent together, away from everything and everyone else. Ben has never been disappointed in giving his heart to this man and he knows that twenty years from now, he'll still be comfortable doing so. 

Each touch lights a spark, it makes Ben question why he’s put this off for so long. Armitage is nothing but gentle with him, as he always has been. Ben’s neck is littered with little marks, reminders tomorrow of what had transpired between them. A hand tugs at the bottom of Ben’s shirt and the youngest Solo sits up just a little so that Armitage can pull the garment off him. He feels strangely bear. It’s not like his boyfriend hasn’t seen him without a shirt before, but something about the course of this situation makes him feel all that more vulnerable. Most people tended to rush into their first time, to be so excited that they forget to savour it, treasure it and Ben is almost certain that this moment will be forever cemented into his mind. He hopes so at least.

As the shirt is throw to the floor, Ben looks up at him with glimmering obsidian eyes. Armitage’s usually perfect hair is in disarray, a look in his eyes of both uncertainty and excitement. “We don’t have to rush into this.” The redhead murmurs, fingers gently caress the mans cheek, sliding down past his neck and towards his chest. He wants to take his time, not only to savour this but also so that he can make sure Ben doesn’t feel forced. The most important thing to Armitage, was Ben. He would never do anything to hurt him, ever. When Armitage looks at Ben he see’s someone who is precious, a person that he loves so much he feels the need to protect them. Perhaps that’s why he’s never understood his own fathers hate of the world. He’d hoped that he could be enough to make Brendol change his ways, but Brendol wouldn’t save himself, not even for his son. The redhead presses a kiss to Ben’s forehead, making whispered promises that he’s safe, that nothing will hurt him. Armitage will never be like his father.

When Ben is in his boyfriend’s arms he feels safe, surrounded by love. He knows Armitage feels the same, without one another they would have nothing at all. The room is quiet, the curtains are shut and the only light in the room now comes from the candles that are on his metal shelving unit, lighting the room in a way that could be described as romantic. His heart seems to hammer harder in his chest to the point where Ben’s concerned it might explode. Armitage’s mouth dips down low, lips enclosing around one of the youngest Solo’s nipples and Ben makes a gasping sound, eyes fluttering closed. It’s a new sensation, The redhead is gentle in his ministrations, tongue gently swirling around it and giving Ben a taste of what’s to come. Ben has no idea what to do with his hands, so he settles for placing one against the mattress, and threading the other through the man’s hair. The heat that pools in his stomach is indescribable although the little whimper that soon follows is all the proof the redhead needs in order to know Ben is enjoying himself.

There’s a slight awkwardness to it, mostly because it’s something new for Ben, a charter he hasn’t quite explored yet and there’s this nervousness within him that he might not be good enough. “Armie.” His words are soft, a little bit of a moan as eyes open when the man pulls back. The smile on the redhead’s face isn’t smug, it’s something sweeter. It’s happy. It’s been a long time since Ben has seen that smile. The past few days have been everything, having Armitage here and knowing that he was safe? That was all Ben had wanted and the more time that passed, the more relaxed his boyfriend was becoming. Armitage kisses him, tender and sweet and everything else seems to fade away, the world outside of their little bubble no longer matters. No, right now all he can think about is how his boyfriend tastes, sweet and salty all at the same time. Tongues caress, Ben surrendering already, his mouth open and his body pliant. He’s lost in the feeling and the emotion of it all.

Armitage takes his time, fingers sliding down the man’s body, feeling every expanse of flesh. The redhead slides the zip of the mans jeans down, slowly but surely, those pale eyes glancing into Obsidian as if waiting for confirmation. Ben appreciates this, the slowness of each action. He knows that it’s because Armitage doesn’t want to risk pushing him too far. Ben nods however, urging him on and wriggling his hips just a little to show his impatience. A breathless chuckle leaves those plush lips of Armitage’s and he murmurs “You’ve always lacked patience darling.” The only retort is Ben whining ever so slightly, his own lips turning into a pout. “Alright, alright.” The redhead murmurs and he finally slide’s the material down Ben’s legs, chucking it to the floor. With each movement they’re getting closer to that moment when everything changes.

Fingers glide over Ben’s hipbones, a small smile playing on Armitage’s lips. He loves every inch of this man beneath him. “You’re….everything.” He murmurs to his boyfriend, leaning down to kiss him again. Ben makes a sound that is swallowed by the redhead’s mouth, one of affection and of pleasure. When they pull back, those clever fingers of Armitage’s brush against the semi hard bulge in Ben’s boxers. There’s a shuddered breath and Ben’s eyelashes flutter. The redhead takes this as a good sign and his fingers slide inside the material, coming to wrap around the length of Ben. Ben’s breathing becomes a little shaky, eyes a little darker as his gaze meets that of his boyfriends. He can’t talk, there are no words for how he feels right now. “You need to tell me darling, if you want me to stop.” Words are shared between them, Armitage makes it clear that at any point Ben can ask him to stop, that they won’t have to go any further if Ben is uncomfortable at any point.

The youngest Solo nods, promising in that moment to be honest with him. Finally, Armitage slides the boxers down Ben’s legs, his own hands shaking at this point and when he finally looks up he’s able to see Ben completely naked. It’s the first time, Ben feels as if he’s on complete display, but it doesn’t scare him as much as it might of once before. How long they stay where they are, just looking at one another, Ben doesn’t know but there’s something entirely intimate about it. Hux seems to be lost for words, trying to remove his own shirt with hands that can’t stop shaking. It’s an action that Ben finds entirely endearing and he cannot help but move so that he’s on his knees beside him, helping him with the shirt. Everything about this is a level of intimacy that up until now Ben hasn’t experienced. Oh, they’ve held hands, they’d gotten one another off whilst fully clothed but this was something else. His fingers brush against the redhead’s bare chest, the shirt now discarded on the floor.  
“Ben.” Armitage murmurs, a smile playing on his lips. “Armitage.” Ben replies simply, wondering why they were saying one another’s when they knew each other so well. Armitage murmurs something in his ear, prompting Ben to switch his position, to lay back down. Armitage proceeds with removing the rest of his clothes, his face changing colour until he’s blushing bright red. There’s another moment when their eyes meet, when everything is perfect. His is manoeuvring so that he’s sitting in between Ben’s legs, fingers curling in at his hips. Ben’s cock twitches, his body flushing slightly. Armitage grins, hand wrapping around his boyfriend’s length with such confidence. Each movement is slow at first, the confidence still there but there’s a tentativeness about the movements, Armitage is taking his time for a reason, he wants to draw it out and make Ben feel good. 

It’s an alien feeling to him, too new to explain and yet he knows he likes it, craves that intimate touch that he’s denied himself for so long. There’s the barest gasp, fingers that curl into the sheets as his boyfriend’s hand works in a steady rhythm. For a moment it’s almost as if he can’t breathe, it’s overwhelming. Each touch is the love that they feel for one another, one that’s grown stronger with time and become something that can not be so easily thrown away. That heat that had pooled in his belly was now flooding his entire body, a warmth he hadn’t known he’d needed until now. His breathing becomes more erratic as Armitage’s movements increase. “I…….kriff.” He can’t do anything but curse, top teeth sinking into his bottom lip. Ben whimpers, it’s the softest sound in the world but it’s clear that he’s close and he doesn’t want this to end. Perhaps Armitage senses this because he slows down to a stop and Ben whines a little in frustration. Being on the brink of orgasm only to have it denied isn’t the most pleasant of feelings but Armitage doesn’t want this to end just yet.

He wanted to explore Ben’s body and learn more about him, rushing this would only leave Ben with fleeting perhaps even embarrassing memories. “I don’t want you to come just yet.” His voice is a purr as he moves to hover above Ben, pressing their lips together in what becomes a rather messy and desperate kiss. Before Ben knows it, his hands are moving to grasp at Armitage, to touch every inch of him because he needs him close, needs to feel the heat that radiates from their bodies. Tongues collide, breathless moans soon following and it’s not long before it escalates and Armitage is scrambling around the room for lube.

 

fifteen minutes later.

Ben’s a mess, strands of hair are plastered to his forehead and his heavy breathing, whilst subsided was still the slightest bit shaky. Hux lays next to him, completely spent, his own breathing just a little out of tune as he places a hand on his boyfriend’s chest. Ben would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little sore but that’s overridden by how good he feels, how complete. He reaches across, his hand finding the one that’s resting on his chest, and he links their fingers together. “You’re my favourite song.” Ben murmurs, curling against Armitage who for a moment looks perplexed before he understands. “You’re mine too Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my lovelies, i thought i'd try something in this chapter. It's far from perfect but i hope you enjoy it! as always, feedback is welcome. Ps. feel free to check my tumblr anicreates.tumblr.com for chapter progress etc.


	9. Family is more than just blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whilst the Skywalker-Solo-Organa family descends into chaos, Han finds a way out of it by offering Armitage a ride to work which ends with a heart warming conversation. Ben wakes up to find Rey and Luke screaming at each other in the kitchen.

Armitage can’t help but watch Ben sleep. He’s going to be late for work if he doesn’t get out of bed this instant but there’s something about watching his boyfriend dream. He hasn’t seen him this at peace in a long and there’s a pang of guilt over that thought. He knows he hasn’t been the most attentive of partners as of late. The two were vastly different in personality. Ben could be incredibly intense at times, whether it was a conversation about something he was interested in, or an art project that left him working for days on end without letting himself sleep. Armitage could be intense too but in a very different way. It showed through how he dressed, how he presented himself as a person. His father had been in the military, dishonourably discharged. Brendol was extremely militant and had brought that home to his son, Armitage had longed for the time his father was away because it had meant an escape from the large amount of abuse he often endured. Brendol had returned home for the final time when Armitage was nine, after being found out for alcohol and substance abuse. Things then became increasingly worse for the younger Hux who’d had to learn to become quiet almost invisible in order to avoid his father’s wrath. That was something that didn’t always work. 

He’d found solace in his best friend, a shy quiet boy who had spent most of his life avoiding strangers and eye contact. He supposes he must have loved Ben from the beginning, he’d certainly felt a kinship with him. He’d felt like a protector, a hero really because Ben always looked at him like he was the most heroic person to walk the earth. Armitage had protected him a lot as they had grown up, from bullies, from his own thoughts. It wasn’t until they hit high school that the dynamic changed a little. Ben shot up, was at least a foot taller than his boyfriend and it soon turned out that most people liked to attack those with high intellect who dressed in a certain way. Armitage was soon on the other end of it, the one being bullied instead of Ben. What he’d not expected however, was for shy, withdrawn Ben, to suddenly take up the duty of protecting and standing up for him. It was a dynamic shift that Armitage had struggled with for a while. He’d become frustrated almost, that he could no longer protect Ben. That Ben was now the one fending for both himself and Armitage. 

Luke had been their teacher in high school, had eventually improved his qualifications to follow them to college. Armitage thinks a lot of this was because Ben functioned better around a teacher that he knew well, a teacher who could understand his needs, but it was also because Ben’s class had vouched for him. Luke was a good teacher, he didn’t teach you based on just the curriculum, his lessons were also about life. He made the art, about the class, using it to help them with what was going on at home. Armitage has always liked that.The old man was a little too laid back sometimes, granted, but he was always on point with what he was trying to teach. Plus, not many teachers could accept that Armitage and Ben came as a package deal, of course they didn’t share classes at college but if he had some free time until his own class started, Luke didn’t object to him joining his so Ben wasn’t alone. It had been that way in high school too, during free periods, Armitage would just show up. Him and Ben have always been entwined since they were children. A package deal. That was just how things were.

The redhead sighs and finally begins to move. He has to be at the cafe in two hours, that doesn’t give him a lot of room for getting ready, breakfast and actually getting there in time. He’d have to bus because his car was currently in Han’s garage, waiting to be fixed by both the older Solo and Ben. He supposes that’s an upside, at least he’ll know the job is done properly. Before he knows it, he's moving around Ben’s room, grabbing some fresh clothes and his toothbrush. He still wasn’t comfortable enough to leave it in the bathroom despite being told to make himself at home. The shower he takes is quite quick, mostly because it never takes long and also because he’s running on a very short amount of time. Once he’s dressed and combed his hair into a suitable style, he’s making his way down the stairs and finds Rey and Luke standing in the kitchen arguing about something. Not wanting to get involved in a family dispute he starts to back away, deciding he can grab breakfast at work. “I’m just…going to go catch the bus…uh can you tell Ben I’ll text him later?.” His blue eyes are widened slightly as Rey makes a rude gesture towards her father. Han, who seemed as desperate to escape as Armitage, grabs his car keys off the counter and responds with “The bus? Nah I’ll drive you kid.” Leia makes a sound but Han ignores her, only so much as throwing her a grin before he’s striding to the door. Armitage decides it would be rude to object, so in defeat he follows Ben’s father outside. 

Was this going to be the most awkward car ride of his life?. The truth was he hadn’t spent a lot of time with Han. It was common knowledge that the man wasn’t his biggest fan, which stemmed from what he thought about Armitage’s father. Still, it can’t be that bad right?. Maybe he could text Ben in the car if he runs out of conversation to make. He narrowly escapes into the front garden as Rey hurls a string of angry words at her father, how Ben is sleeping through that he has no idea. The awkwardness picks up almost as soon as Hux gets into the passanger seat of the car. The thing was, they’d never shared a conversation. Ben had always found a way to make sure the two didn’t have to spend time together to avoid any problems but now the pair were taking a short car journey together and Ben wasn’t anywhere in sight. His anxieties begin to eat at him.

Han’s a pretty easy going guy, which is where Jacen gets it from. Not a lot bothers him, he rarely shouts unless he’s pretty pissed. Armitage takes the time to really look at him for a second, noting the yellow bruising around the older Solo’s eye, a mark left from the fight he’d gotten himself into with Armitage’s father Brendol. How the pair had avoided arrest, he didn’t know but he decides to not ask. Armitage has never been in Han’s car before, he’s been in Luke’s, even Leia’s but never Han’s. The floor was littered with a few mcdonald’s wrappers and when Han catches him looking he grins. “Don’t tell the wife, I’m supposed to be on a diet.” The redhead gives him a weak smile, shoulders relaxing a little. Whatever animosity had been there before, seems to of faded or at least he hopes.

As he puts on his seat belt, he wonders why Han offered. The truth of the matter was Han could of easily said he was going to the garage to work on a car if all he’d wanted was an escape route. No, he’d gone out of his way to offer him a lift. So why?. Armitage is completely perplexed for a multitude of reasons. Not because Rey and Luke had been arguing, no that was common occurrence. She was a teenage in the throws of rebellion, learning to navigate the world around her and Luke was a man who wasn’t quite ready to admit his daughter was growing up. No, it was the way Han had reacted. Something was up. He had a feeling that something, was that Han wanted to have a man to man talk with him. As he’s mulling over this thought, Han puts his own seatbelt on, turning the key in the ignition and making sure the radio is turned off. This is a sure sign that a conversation is coming, and Armitage resigns him to the fact that there is no escape.

“I used to worry about Ben.” Han admits, his eyes focused on his mirror as he starts to pull out of the driveway. “Not necessarily because I thought he needed me to, but because you always worry about your youngest. Jacen and Jaina have always been so independent, Ben’s always needed that extra push you know?, independence has been a hard road for him.” Han inhales sharply, stopping for just a moment to look at Armitage. “Of course you know, you’ve always been there.” He notes. Armitage fidgets in his seat slightly, wondering if it would be rude to get out of the car and just walk to work. Han continues. “You two were inseparable right from the age of four, I never really thought much about it. I was just glad he had a friend. Ben didn’t like other kids, and other kids didn’t like Ben. I think half the time they felt threatened by his intelligence, the other time he just…got on their bad side. But you? you never left his side. You were a package deal even back then.” Armitage knows how much truth there is to these words, him and Ben always stood together. “I wasn’t even surprised when Luke said you’d started sitting in on his classes when you had a free period, I think it was then I realised you two were pretty much it. See, I knew Ben was Gay, I’ve known since he was ten. It took him a little longer to figure it out but I was sure he would. So when you two started dating, I wasn’t surprised. What surprised me, was how long it took for you two to figure out how you felt. Me and Leia had a feeling, for a while.” The conversation was getting more awkward by the minute.

Armitage chooses to look straight ahead as he speaks. “I’ve always loved him, back when I was a child, up until now, sir. It’s not changed. I don’t think it ever will.” Love has been a challenging concept for both Armitage and Ben. For the redhead, he’d struggled to understand how love could be a good thing when all it ever seemed to cause was pain. Shortly after his mother died, Brendol had descended into a constant drunken stupor, lashing out at his son whenever he was angry. For Ben it had been watching his father walk out at five and having him return when he was nine. Despite the fact Han had been back for nine years now, Ben still struggled with the fact that for a short while, Han had left. Despite this however, the pair had found comfort in one another. They’d turned their worries into strengths. “That’s what I’m getting at kid. Ben has had his struggles, he has rigid schedules, and I know that for a long time, he was really frustrated. He watched Jaina and Jacen go off and start their lives, they went away for college. They moved states to do so but he’s not been able to do so because of how he is. He struggles with independence in a way other people don’t. But you’ve helped him. I watch you two every day, if he’s having a bad day, I see you either wrap your arms around him and try to calm him down, or I see you go out and give him the space he needs. I’ve never seen anyone as understanding as you are with our Ben. I want to thank you for that.” They’re heading down the road now, and any nerves that had filled Armitage before had lessened considerably.

Han Solo wasn’t a bad man, he was man who’d made mistakes but in this world, no one was perfect and if Armitage was honest, he’d always been a little jealous that Ben had such a good Dad. One that had come home because he wanted to. Sure, the man had left for four years but the redhead suspected there was more to that story than they all knew and what counted was that he had come back. It’s clear the older man still feels some guilt, he doesn’t have the closest relationship with his son, but he does try. Armitage could see that. He sometimes wishes that Brendol was as dedicated as Han. “You don’t need to thank me Sir, I treat him as I always have. He’s Ben, I’ve loved him since I was a child, it’s really as simple as that. Nothing, nobody, could ever make me change my mind. Besides, he helps me as much as I help him.” It was a partnership, an equal one. The future wasn’t always certain, no, but some things for Armitage were set in stone. Han seems happy with this answer because he remains quiet the rest of the journey, as if in deep thought. The silence is nice and comfortable, and Armitage amuses himself by looking out of the window and watching as other cars passed them by, and people walked up the street.

**Back at the Solo-Organa house**

Ben was pretty much used to the house being a source of family drama at this point. It was always something. Still he can’t say he’s impressed to be woken up to the sound of Rey screaming the house down. He wonders what Luke’s done now and why they’re having this argument here and not at their own house next door. Ben and Rey had gown up together, living side by side it had made life a lot easier for Leia or Luke when they needed to work. Ben was three years older than Rey, not a lot of difference but he liked to think of himself as the big brother she’d never had. They were pretty close. Still, right now she was not his favourite person. Ben busies himself by showering and dressing and assumes that he’s going to be spending the day with Han, working on Armitage’s car. When he gets downstairs however he finds that his father has disappeared to take Armitage to work. Assuming that’s going to end in disaster, Ben decides to try and navigate the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. This turns out to be a fruitless endeavour as Luke and Rey are still taking up half the kitchen. 

Finally, he grabs an orange, his favourite fruit and seeks out his mother who is found in her study, no doubt a desperate attempt to remove herself from the situation. He can’t say he blames her, the endless shouting is starting to affect him and he’s contemplating running upstairs and getting his headphones. He takes a seat instead on one of the comfier chairs in Leia’s study, head in his hands. “Hey Mom.” He offers her a weak smile, one that’s returned. Mother and son are quite alike in many ways. Both could be very intense at times, quick to argue if need be and very passionate. He likes to think that his intelligence comes from his Mom although she’s always quick to tell him that his is a unique gift. Ben loves his Mom, he’s always been closer to her than his father and not just because the man had walked out for four years. Leia had been the constant in Ben’s life, he realises now just how much she’s done for him, how often she’s put him first. “Luke said Dad was taking Armie to work, actually, he screamed it at me, what the kriff is going on in there?.” He hadn’t been able to make out half of what was being said or shouted. Leia looks up from the files on her desk, offering her son an apologetic smile. “It is a bit noisy isn’t it? Honestly, I can’t make head nor tail of it. One minute I was eating my breakfast, Luke had joined me, the next second Rey was storming in with a face like thunder.” She sighs, closing the file. “And your father, the scoundrel that he is, sought a way out by taking Armitage to work, just as I was about to offer. Great minds.” There’s a fondness on her face, it’s a look that’s always present when she’s talking about Han. Even when she’s furious with him.

“If Dad’s smart he’ll go to mcdonalds and sit in the parking lot whilst he eats his food.” Ben remarks. Leia laughs, rolling her warm brown eyes. “He still thinks I don’t know about that, he forgets he can’t get away with keeping things from me. He’s never been any good at it.” She taps her pencil against her desk. “Why don’t we go out for breakfast.” Ben’s passing the orange between his hands now, and glances up at her suggestion. “Aren’t you busy?.” The surprise alone is enough to make Leia realise that she hasn’t had much time for her family as of late. She pushes the file away, placing the pencil down. “It can wait; besides, we haven’t had time to talk lately have we? We can go to that little bakery you like.” Ben takes her up on the offer, if only because he isn’t sure when he’s going to next get one. “Okay.” A wide grin spreads itself across his lips and he stands up. “I’ll go put this back.” And then he’s running off to go grab his keys, put some shoes on and grab his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey darlings! sorry this chapter took a little longer than the others, i'm still balancing quite a lot at home. I hope you enjoy a little insight into Armitage's life! as always, feedback is welcomed and you can check my tumblr : anicreates.tumblr.com for updates on the next chapter <3.


	10. It's always going to be me and you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben goes out for breakfast with his mother for the first time in a month and Armitage has a bad day at work. They find comfort in each other later that day.

Ben usually looked forward to these moments, going out for breakfast with his Mom was usually a rare occasion. The truth was Leia had always worked long hours, right from when Ben was really little and so he’d grown up knowing she didn’t always have the most flexible schedule. When Han had left for those four years, Jacen and Luke had stepped up in regards to helping with Ben. Luke had taken on a lot of responsibilities where his youngest nephew was concerned. Running him two and from school with Rey, making sure he had dinner if Leia was working late. Luke was single handily raising Rey by himself and had been since her mother had died during childbirth. Mara’s death had been hard on Luke, he’d struggled for a long time. Ben doesn’t remember much about it, he’d been a small child at the time but he knows that they’d moved in next door to be close to family. Rey was fifteen now and Ben eighteen. They were more like siblings than cousins, they certainly fought like it on occasion.

His Mom’s car is pretty impressive, very classy but given the fact she owned a law firm, it made a lot of sense. Ben appreciates all that she does, he does. He knows that she put herself through law school because she didn’t want to rely on her parent’s money despite them being more than willing to help. He knows that everything she does, is because she wants to give her family the best life possible but sometimes Ben just wishes he could see her more. As he climbs into the Mercedes, he wonders how Armitage’s morning is going. He hasn’t had a ‘come save me’ text yet so he’s going to assume the drive with Han wasn’t too nerve wracking. Ben’s guilty of trying to keep the two apart in all honesty. Clipping his seat belt in place, he checks his phone out of habit but the only thing there is a text from Rey asking him to bring her back a bagel. He wonders how she had time to send that and scream at her father without stopping. Rolling obsidian eyes, he turns his attention to the dashboard.

Leia’s car was a lot cleaner than Han’s. It was organized, and no doubt she cleaned it out once week. She was a very pragmatic and efficient woman, the only place she didn’t tidy was Ben’s room and that was because he excelled at doing that himself. Jacen, Jaina and Anakin had always been sloppy, leaving their clothes everywhere, never putting their laundry away. Leia never had that problem with Ben because of his ocd when it came to keeping things organized. Like his mother he believed an organized room was an organized mind. It helped him think when things were tidy. He leans back in his seat, eyes slipping closed for a moment. The morning had been chaotic and chaotic mornings were a struggle for Ben. He wonders if this is why she’s offered to go to breakfast with him. His Mom knows that when things get too much, he tends to overthink about things.

“They’ll be okay Ben, your father knows better than to upset Armitage.” Leia’s voice is soothing and calms him in the sea of his worry although it doesn’t stop it. Ben turns his head slightly as she starts the car up. “Mom, they’ve barely spent any time together, because I make sure they don’t and now they’re alone in a car…..alone.” He feels the need to repeat the world alone for emphasis, fingers tapping in anxiety against his knee. Leia makes a soft sound, a weak smile on the edge of her lips. “I know you struggle when things are out of your control Ben, but there are some things you simply have to let unfold.” He makes an exasperated sound which causes her to chuckle. “I expected that, it’s the same reaction you gave me when you were five and I tried to tell you that you can’t control the world.” She looks at her son with fondness. They’re driving down the road now, the sky is cloud free and it looks as if it’s going to be a nice warm day. Ben looked forward to it, he thinks about sitting on the roof later, taking a glass of iced tea and his sketch book. He rarely got such tranquil moments and with Armitage at work and Han hiding out in the mcdonalds parking lot no doubt, he’d have a few hours to himself depending on when he got back. “I don’t want to control the world Mom, just…everything to do with me and around me.” He retorts despite knowing that’s not possible. Leia chuckles again, a grin on her lips. “You sound just like me at your age.” She murmurs. She’d certainly been a handful, Bail never failed to tell Ben about how rebellious his mother had been.

His shoulders relax, he enjoys the tranquillity of this moment. His anxieties are still there but there not as loud as they were previously. Logically, Ben knows his mother is right. Armitage was living with them at the moment. Ben could no longer control his proximity to his father. He was going to have to trust that the pair could get along. He didn’t like not being able to do anything but he’d have to accept it. “Do you think they’re talking about me?.” He finally asks, looking at Leia rather anxiously. After parking the car, she turns in her seat to face him. “Probably, but it’s most definitely all good stuff. Ben try to enjoy yourself, your father and Armitage will be fine. If you’re that worried, text him.” She tries to not sound too frustrated, she knows a lot of it has to do with Ben’s anxiety. It’s not his fault but it does make her ask her next question. “Did you take your medication today?.” He winces. “No not yet, but I will, gotta have food first Mom.” Ben points out shrugging his shoulders. She relents and climbs out of the car. Ben chooses to put his phone in his back pocket. His Mom was right, they get so few of these moments. He should enjoy this one whilst it lasts.

Breakfast goes according to plan, Ben somehow manages to worry less about everything else and they share a pleasant conversation. This bakery has always been one of his favourites, it had been open since he was a kid, Leia had always brought him here when they had time. Ben feels almost mournful if he’s honest, knowing that it’s going to be at least another month before they get the time to do this again. The car ride home is pretty quiet, he welcomes that. The bakery had been unusually busy and without his sunglasses or headphones, he never really stood a chance at blocking it out. By the time they get home, Ben’s ready to disappear into his bedroom and Leia doesn’t even try to stop him, all she asks is that he takes his medication. Ben fumbles in the kitchen with the pill box, cursing child proof locks, and after a good ten minutes is finally able to take it. Once that’s over with he makes his way to his room, taking a can of sprite with him, deciding against the iced tea.

He kicks open his bedroom door after pushing the handle down, and walks inside, dumping his keys and phone onto his unmade bed, making a note to sort that out before he disappears onto the roof. His anxiety is now back tenfold, mostly because of his sensory issues and in reaction, Ben’s been digging his nails into his palm, forming little crescent marks. Once he’s calmed down and placed the can of sprite on his night stand, he removes the keys, placing them in the top draw of his desk. He then proceeds to remake his bed, something that takes a little longer than fifteen minutes, his ocd getting the best of him. Once he’s satisfied, he rummages under his bed and grabs his sketchbook and water colour pencils. All he wants right now is to climb to the roof and sketch until everything else fades away. At least Rey and Luke are no longer here arguing, he wonders how that ended, if Rey finally calmed down. He makes a mental note to text her later but he chooses to leave his phone in his room. 

When he’s feeling like this, he’s learned that constantly checking his phone doesn’t make him feel better. Nine times out of ten? It makes him feel worse. Once situated on the roof, Ben starts drawing.

**Meanwhile at Café Starkiller**

Armitage’s day, although it’s barely started has gotten increasingly worse as each minute goes by. The car journey had been pretty okay, he’d expected it to be a lot worse or at least more awkward but surprisingly, Armitage had actually enjoyed it. No, it was when he got to Starkiller, that everything turned to shit. He’d tried calling Ben the second things had started to get difficult, but it had gone straight to voicemail which was a sign he was either busy, or struggling with talking. Either way, Armitage respects it and shoots him a text. He only has to be here for three hours, he can muddle through. He hopes.

He normally enjoys working here, cashiered service wasn’t his favourite thing in the world but it gave him a little extra cash, and he was able to afford his text books and other things needed and it had also been a source of independence for a while, from a father who had tried to police every aspect of his life because he was abusive and controlling. It’s still difficult for Armitage to accept he’s no longer in that situation. Every time he wakes up to find Ben by his side, is another day he sighs with relief. It hasn’t been an easy adaption to live with Ben. The truth was, up until recently he hadn’t spent a lot of time around his boyfriend’s family unless it was Luke who taught at the college they both attended. He’d always gotten on with Luke, the older man had been extremely understanding when Ben and Armitage had started spending their free period’s in each others classes. No, it was Han and Leia that Armitage struggled to talk to. It seemed things were getting easier then however. 

Despite the fact he had left home, that he was finally out of his fathers clutches, that hadn’t stopped Brendol from harassing him via text or leaving him disgusting voicemails most of which had to do with Armitage’s sexuality. What Armitage had never told Ben, was that he’d been keeping his relationship with Ben a secret, it wasn’t until Brendol had come back from rehab that he’d finally realised his son was gay after reading some messages on Armitage’s phone. That was what had kicked everything off again. Brendol had never approved of Ben being his friend, had always thought that Armitage was spending too much time with him and not enough time at home.

He continues to work, serving customers and trying to ignore how his phone buzzes in his pocket and reminds him of just how easy it was for Brendol to hurt him. Despite the smile that the redhead is able to plaster on his face, Phasma sees right through it and on their break, she pulls him outside, so they can talk. “Okay, you need to spill because we’re supposed to be serving customers, we’re not here to blow up the death star.” She makes the star wars reference mostly because she knows he’ll enjoy it. Whilst Armitage wasn’t the biggest fan, he’d watched the movies with Ben because Ben loved Starwars. Armitage takes a long needed deep breath, releasing it before he speaks. “I think that would be more enjoyable.” His voice is a low murmur. Armitage has never been the kind of person to just open up and talk. They both know that. “Phas I’m fine. I had a rough night’s sleep. Nothing to worry about.” His tone is it’s usual business like manner. 

“Really? So if I tell you Poe Dameron just walked in past us, without you noticing, you can promise me you’ll do nothing but give him good customer service?.” She raises a platinum blonde eyebrow and Armitage attempts to keep his face as passive as possible and not give into the sudden aggravation that’s now rising up inside of him. “I’ll be perfectly pleasant.” They both knew that was a stretch. He’d be bitterly civil, and that was about as much as she could ask him to be. Poe Dameron, was twenty five, and ironically, had been Ben’s first boyfriend. Six months ago. They’d become an item shortly after Ben’s eighteenth birthday although it hadn’t lasted long, in the end he’d broken Ben’s heart. Leia had no idea. If she had known, she’d certainly of had him fired. It just so happened that he worked for her law firm. The breakup itself had been messy, it had ended with Poe cheating on Ben and Armitage breaking Poe’s nose. They weren’t on the best terms and sometimes Armitage wondered if Poe just came into Starkiller to piss him off.

Armitage gives Phasma a look and she returns it. They seem to be in some sort of stand off before he finally breaks her gaze and heads back inside. Just an hour and a half left to kill, the sooner he got through this shift, the sooner he could get home to his boyfriend. That’s what he thinks about as he holds his tongue and serves Poe, whilst also imagining slamming his fist into the mans jaw. As pleasant as that image is, he has no desire to get arrested, he’s lucky he wasn’t the last time. So he rings up his order with a fake smile, pretending he has no idea who the man is. It’s just another secret for him to keep from everyone else. He can’t tell Ben, if he tells Ben it just brings it all up again and Ben has to relive the betrayal. Phasma makes a comment in passing about how he needs to be more open is met with him making a somewhat rude gesture towards her.

The rest of the shift is pretty quiet. The bus ride home is welcomed although he could live without strangers sitting next to him on the bus but that can’t be helped. Once he’s off it though, he sighs with relief, making his way up the street towards his boyfriend’s house. Han’s car still isn’t back, but Leia’s is gone now too, so he wonders if she had to go into work. He looks upwards , spotting Ben on the flat side of the roof over his bedroom, a grin works it’s way onto Armitage’s features. So they were, for the most part if Luke and Rey had left, alone. He uses the key Ben had cut for him, he’s avoided doing so because it’s felt almost as if he was intruding but aside form waving his arms up and down there’s not much he can do, when Ben’s on the roof he doesn’t have his phone and no one else was at home. So reluctantly, he lets himself in. Chewbacca lifts his head from his food bowl in greeting but doesn’t move, which Armitage is used to by now. The redhead makes his way immediately to Ben’s room, fully intending to surprise him. They don’t get a lot of time alone at the moment and he’s going to take advantage of it. He climbs onto the roof, situating himself beside Ben who looks up pleasantly surprised. The smile he receives? That’s everything and all the frustration and anger that had built up that morning, now faded away because when Ben looks at him, everything is better. 

Armitage reaches for Ben’s hand and entwines their fingers together. “Hey darling.” He murmurs, leaning forward to capture his lips in a gentle kiss. Ben responds with vigour, dropping his pencil on the roof, not caring that he’d been interrupted in the middle of a sketch. No, all that matters to Ben in this moment is kissing his boyfriend and as Ben’s hand curls into his shirt, Armitage knows raven haired man has been having a hard time this morning. “Hi.” Ben murmurs softly, his voice a little breathless from the kiss. Armitage grins, shifting slightly, careful to not knock Ben’s drink over as he pulls the taller male into his lap. Ben rests his legs either side of Armitage and leans forward to gently brush his nose against his boyfriends.

“I missed you this morning.” Ben whispers. Armitage presses a soothing kiss to his jaw before responding. “I know, I missed you too. Your Dad gave me a ride to work.” Ben screws his nose up ever so gently. “Luke said, actually he screamed it at me. The kitchen was like a war zone this morning.” Obsidian eyes roll. Armitage busies himself by playing with the silver star shaped pendant that hung around Ben’s neck. He’d bought that for the youngest Solo when Ben had turned sixteen. Ben hadn’t taken it off since then. “It wasn’t bad, honestly. It was…okay, good. You have nothing to worry about.” He tries to soothe the anxieties that have been clearly plaguing Ben. Ben shifts on his lap ever so gently, so he can bury his face in his boyfriends shoulder. “Well as long as you’re sure.” He murmurs. They sit like that for a while, Armitage holding him close as if afraid to let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! sorry this update took a little longer, i wanted to touch upon their relationships with the people around them and i also wanted this chapter to be the one where i introduce a couple of other characters!. As always, feedback is welcome and you can find updates on the next chapter on my tumblr blog anicreates.tumblr.com <3


	11. No matter where i sleep you are next to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Armitage sneak off to the shower in the early hours of the morning. They plan their future out together

“Fuck.” Ben curses, eyes fluttering closed as fingers curl in ginger locks. His back is pressed against the shower wall, it’s around three in the morning and they’d decided to take a shower early, that way they could take one together without being caught. It just so happened that this shower had escalated into something a little more heated. Armitage wraps his lips around the head of Ben’s cock without a second thought, his hand playfully squeezing in at his hip. Ben swears his heart misses a beat, but a whimper elicits from his lips. It wasn’t that they hadn’t been this intimate before but the last time had been in Ben’s bedroom beneath the sheets, not in the bathroom that just so happened to be on the same hall as his parent's bedroom. They were going to have to try and be extra quiet. Hux tries not to laugh at the small sound his boyfriend makes but he finds it more arousing than he cares to admit. Even after sleeping together, Ben was still so innocent, still learning, still new to this and Armitage is so in love with him. The water pours down his back but he barely notices. Ben’s hip is wet and slick, Armitage's hand slipping every now and again as he begins a steady rhythm, slowly taking Ben in deeper. 

He enjoys how the youngest Solo’s hand tightens in his hair, tugging ever so slightly with the closer he gets. Just as Ben is on the edge, as his little breathy moans turn into deeper whimpers, Armitage pulls back, a sly grin on his face. Ben makes a whining sound in the back of his throat, despite trying to remain as quiet as possible. Ben looks rather disgruntled, but Armitage stands back up, moving forward at high velocity so he can capture his lips in a passionate heady kiss, and this causes Ben to practically tremble. “I want to be inside you.” The redhead murmurs into Ben’s open mouth. There’s no hesitation, no rejection. Ben simply kisses him back with vigour to show his enthusiasm over this. He knows it’s the early hours of the morning, and they’re going to have problems if one of his parents decides they need to use the bathroom, but all Ben can think about right now is Armitage and how much he wants this. “Face the wall darling.” There is something so commanding about the tone used, it makes Ben’s stomach quiver, makes him want to obey. His shoulder length hair is now plastered to his face and neck, drops of water sliding down his back as he turns. He’s still a little loose and pliant from earlier. They’d had the whole afternoon to themselves what with both of them only having classes in the morning. With Leia working, and Han at the garage, they’d taken it upon themselves to spend some time just the two of them and in those few hours, Ben had come twice.

Fingertips trail down his back and a kiss is pressed at the base of his neck. Armitage is always so gentle with him, every act has been slow, a gentle pace as they explore one another’s bodies, but Ben finds himself yearning for more. He wants to feel claimed, he wants Armitage to make him, his. Fingertips tease at the swell of his ass, and Ben bites down on his bottom lip. Perhaps doing this in the early hours of the morning wasn’t the best idea but he’s not going to put a stop to it, no. He craves the closeness, he needs the intimacy. Armitage reaches for something, and Ben’s not surprised to learn he’d brought lube with him just in case. It wasn’t as if they had the greatest track record as of late. They couldn’t keep their hands off of one another.“We’re going to have to be quick.” Ben murmurs. “Or we’re going to be interrupted.” Armitage chuckles. “Stop worrying, we’re fine.” He murmurs, kiss pressed to his shoulder as he coats his fingers. Ben can feel himself shivering in anticipation. This made up for the bad morning he'd had. A finger slides between cheek’s, teasingly dragging against Ben’s already slightly loosened entrance. There’s a whimper, a desperate plea and Armitage slowly sinks his finger into his boyfriend. All the while taking care not to hurt him. Ben is way past soreness at this point, too high on the pleasure that comes from being with Armitage. He honestly can’t help but wonder how he got this lucky. It’s been six and a half months since they started dating, this may seem rushed for most people but they’d known each other all their lives. There was nothing Armitage didn’t know about Ben and vice versa. “I won’t break Armie….please…..i need more.” His words shake, almost breathless. His knees have stopped shaking but he knows it won’t be long before he’s on the edge again. Ben’s already so worked up, desperate for more touch, more of everything.

Soon Armitage is pumping two fingers into him, opening him up just that little more so he doesn’t hurt him. Ben’s a gasping mess, hands splayed against the wall whilst his legs quiver just slightly. “Fuck….please…..i’m so close.” A finger brushes against his prostate and Ben almost sees stars. “Armie….i want to come with you inside me, please.” He begs, hoping the sound of the water running will muffle each and every sound due to spill from his lips. Armitage bites down on his shoulder playfully, sucking a mark there, removing his fingers. “You’re so sexy when you’re desperate.” He murmurs in Ben’s ear. It’s hard to believe that Ben’s the bottom in this relationship, to other people he always seems so intimidating due to his stature, the long hair, the beard. No one would guess that he was quiet, shy. He always feels so comfortable and safe when in Armitage’s arms, there’s not a single doubt in his mind. He loves him and he has for a long time.

Armitage looks at Ben like he’s the most beautiful creature in existence. This relationship is about balance, they find comfort in one another. It’s an equal partnership and it always has been. He knows what it means for Ben to put this much trust in him. Ben was someone who had always shied away from physical constant, who had been a lot slower In developing feelings of love and desire. Whilst most teenage boys had been trying to get dates, or lose their virginity, Ben preferred to read or draw or write. He wasn’t interested in dating, in being with other people. He hadn’t had his first boyfriend until this year and that had ended with Armitage punching the guy in the nose for breaking his heart. Armitage knows that what he has here is precious, it’s worth protecting. He loves Ben. That’s never been something he’s needed to figure out. He’s loved Ben since they were both fourteen years old and Armitage was beginning to develop feelings of intensity for the first time. He’s waited, because he knows Ben is someone worth waiting for.

“I love you.” He knows Ben needs no reassurances of this. He knows that Ben knows he loves him but this feels like the perfect moment to reaffirm it. He lines himself up with Ben who’s leans slightly, hands bracing himself against the wall. “I love you too.” The youngest Solo whispers back, a smile playing on his lips. This right here, is everything. Ben knows things won’t always be this good, there will be rough patches and stupid fights over nothing but these moments? These were the moments that showed him they were a good couple. They could have a future together. They would. Armitage is again, so gentle with him as he slides inside, little kisses pressed against his shoulder blade. Sweet nothings whispered in his ear. Ben moans, head tilted back just a little, fingers grasping at the flat surface of the tiles. Each time they did this, was like coming home for Ben and he never wanted it to end.

 

Twenty minutes later and they’re out of the shower, sneaking back to Ben’s bedroom. Ben doesn’t even bother looking at the time as he collapses onto the bed. He didn’t have class until the afternoon, so he could sleep in. He immediately reaches for his boyfriend, pulling him down on top of him so he can kiss him. “You’re the love of my life.” He murmurs against his lips. He knows that’s a cheesy thing to say, he knows that he’ll be teased for it but Ben doesn’t care. He knows it’s the truth. “And I’m going to move in with you.” They’d been talking about it on and off for quite some time. Armitage was slowly getting closer to acquiring student accommodation, and he’d rather live with Ben then have strangers as his roommates.

There was more to it however. Armitage knew this could be a source of independence for Ben, a chance to do the things he hasn’t yet because he doesn’t feel ready. “Are you sure?.” The redhead asks softly, brushing fingers against his cheek. This is something that Ben really has to want, Armitage will not force him into a step this big if he isn’t ready. Ben pushes himself so he’s sitting a little more upright. “I’m sure Armie. I want that, I want you. For the rest of our lives.” He sounds so sincere, and he is. Armitage smiles, pressing his lips gently against Ben’s. “Okay….lets do it.” He whispers. There clothes are discarded somewhere around Ben’s room, the towels with them and they slide beneath the sheets wearing nothing. Modesty isn’t needed. Ben pulls Armitage in close. Physical contact might not be his favourite thing in the world but he rather likes holding his boyfriend, being close to him. “You have class later.” Armitage murmurs. “You should sleep.” Ben gives him a lazy grin. “I will…I’m just…enjoying this, you, us.” Armitage presses a kiss at the curve of Ben’s neck. “Yeah, we got pretty lucky didn’t we?.” He murmurs. Fingers brush lightly against Armitage’s arm. “Yeah, we did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! i'm sorry this is a rather short fic, but i didn't want to drag it out to much and i thought this was the perfect stopping point!. I've enjoyed writing this and i do actually have another kylux fanfic that i'm working on. Thank you all for being so supportive and i hope you've enjoyed the journey <3.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Kylux fic! i hope you darlings enjoy (:


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